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Episode 182: Sarah P

Season 12, Episode 17

sarahp2

Sarah P.
Age: 21
Location: Fortuna, California
Addiction: Meth
What’s memorable: It’s great to see Elena doing so well, she was one of my all time favorites, but it’s terrible that she has to feel responsible for introducing her granddaughter to meth.  Sarah’s in some severe denial, thinking she’s just partying like any other 21 year old. “Gimme a line and I’ll do it. It’s not hurting me really so I don’t know why it’s a big deal.”

Official Synopsis: When her rock and best friend, her grandmother Elena, went away to treatment, Sarah, 21, spiraled out of control. Today, in denial of her own addiction, Sarah is on the same path of addiction her grandmother was on just six months ago. This cycle of addiction must stop in this family now, or unfortunately, Elena will pass on a legacy of addiction instead of recovery.

Original Air Date: August 2012
Interventionist: Candy

Categories: Candy, Meth, Most In-Denial Addicts, Season 12, Traumatic Incident

Discussion

33 Responses to “Episode 182: Sarah P”

  1. Does anyone know what happened with sarah p? Elena seems to be doing good but i was wondering if there were any updates on sarah…did sje relapse or stay sober?

    Posted by melissa | May 3, 2015, 8:35 am
  2. I actually really liked her a lot. Between her episode and Elena’s episode it was interesting to see the family cycle through 5 generations. When I was 21 and smoking heroin and coke (pre-slamming) I had the same mentality that I wasn’t hurting anyone and just doing what a normal 21 year old would do. At that point only my then boyfriend and our friends and eventually his family knew. My family didn’t find out until many months later. I now realize that I started doing it to numb out after being raped less than a year before at age 20. Now that I’m 27 I feel like I’m way behind everyone else my age. Then again I’ve kind of felt that way my entire life in part due to trauma and family issues and ADHD, depression and anxiety.

    I really hope Sarah is doing well! I’d love to know how she’s doing. Does anyone know her last name?

    Posted by Nicole | August 11, 2015, 9:35 am
    • I relate to this sooo much. I haven’t been raped, but I’ve had alot I’d sexually questionable things done to me since childhood that I’ve never known how to describe, or understand. I’m now 32 and feel like while everyone else was in their 20s learning how to be adults and love life, I was getting high and wasting away with a needle full of anything i could fill it with… i always waych intervention and do wonder how this girl is doing. I hope u are doing well!!!

      Posted by Jessica Evans | June 14, 2017, 9:46 pm
  3. I feel the same anger and annoyance towards Sarah’s mother that I did during the Elena episode. She just seems extremely judgmental and poor me and has a defeatist attitude about any solutions offered.

    Granted, I’m mid episode, but her behavior is so frustrating to me I had to vent, haha!

    Posted by Amanda | October 19, 2015, 12:12 pm
    • Omg I felt the same way. Sarah’s mother was such a jerk. I really felt like she didn’t like Sarah. Who punishes their kid after they attempt suicide?!

      Posted by Carter | May 31, 2016, 6:50 pm
  4. Sarah is doing well! She is a local in my town and I see her everyday! She is still sober and doing amazing

    Posted by Britt | January 18, 2016, 11:57 am
  5. Her name is Sarah Perez. She is on Facebook, looks like she’s doing a lot better!

    Posted by Hannah | April 20, 2016, 5:22 pm
  6. I grew up with that entire family. Theyre such amazing people. I know people are saying negative things about the mother Christina, but please know that she’s a beautiful person, with issues like anyone else. My memories of her are almost all positive. I stayed at their house for years. Watched the youngest girls grow up. After I moved away I lost contact and have regretted it for almost 10 years, but the love I have for that family is still huge. I have never laughed so hard in my life than when I was with these guys. And if Jess or Sarah ever read this… I hope they remember the Blink 182 concert… and the skeleton walk.

    Posted by Jascha | June 3, 2016, 10:41 pm
  7. What I don’t like is how they played it to where she was placated as a drug addict. She wouldn’t admit it, despite her using a large cocktail of drugs and what looked to be hooking for money to buy more drugs, (plus the stealing from her mom – and the scamming of the government money …. etc) and they let her skirt around it and act like it was just about ‘family life’ here. Letting her feel she was right – even in the intervention peoples eyes, and she DIDN’T have any sort of drug problem. Completely enabled her ….. again! And, as if it wasn’t already predetermined to everyone watching anyway, she leaves after like 4 weeks ….. whoa – didn’t see that coming.

    Sad case overall since she has such deep psychological issues leading to her addiction, yet, all she wants to do it overemphasize the family drama, and deny the drug abuse. THIS – ladies and gentleman, is a ‘mother’ (in name only) to a young child.

    Her mom cheated on her dad and the marriage broke up. That happens a million times over in the world. What this girl can’t get past is that SHE told her father about it, and he left. And her OWN guilt is killing her ….. eating her up inside. Her mom is the one in the wrong here – not her. However, as I said, marital affairs are far too common (unfortunately) and 99.999% of children do not hold this deep hatred towards mom or dad for the infidelity. Sarah does here because in the end she told her dad about it, and she really feels like SHE broke up her parents marriage. And so, her hate of the entire thing, and her internal agony is simply all directed at her mother, who has just allowed her to do so. Hell, mom wouldn’t even admit she did cheat when asked. Although – would you on national TV?!

    I just can’t get past how Sarah put all her self hate and guilt over something she shouldn’t feel guilty of in the first place, all on her mother, and interprets it as her mom (and apparently her sister and grandma now too somehow) just don’t give a shit about her at all. Her SELF loathing becomes everyone else loathes her. I wonder if mom had admitted she was wrong long ago, and told Sarah she was, and apologized and made sure Sarah knew she didn’t do anything wrong …. if much of this could have all been avoided.

    Posted by MaximusDreivinX | June 21, 2016, 4:50 am
  8. I just looked at sarahs fb page. Shes got a new baby and she looks really healthy in her pictures. Sarah and Elena are two of my favorite episodes, and its so good to see that Sarah appears to be doing really well with her life.

    Posted by Melissa | November 6, 2016, 5:39 pm
  9. It’s nice to see sarah doing well now!she’s pregnant with her 3rd baby now!!!

    Posted by lg | November 9, 2016, 6:14 pm
  10. I like like Sarah. She seems like a really cool person who could be a great friend. On the other hand, this episode really bothered me. The way Sarah was treated was totally awful, her family literally treated her like crap, and I’m not surprised that she may feel the need to escape using drugs and alcohol. Is she as hardcore an addict other addicts profiled on the show? Not really. I think Candy did great in this Intervention. Candy’s comment pretty much sums up her addict behavior very well: “right now she gets to leave her kid with you and gets to go out get rip roaring loaded… This is about Sarah going and getting a life, thats it.” I don’t think she’s particularly addicted to a specific substance, but I think she’s a lost young girl and mother who has no idea how to live life as a mother and makes a ton of crappy decisions, because she was never shown love in the way that she needed it in order grow up without partying to escape. Her thought process is definitely one which has been conditioned to start thinking like an addict would and Intervention stepped in at a point where she’s abusing drugs but isn’t hooked. im sure if this were filmed later, she’d probably be like other meth addicts or like Elena was. I feel really bad for her, and how she was portrayed, how crappy her family treated and viewed her. from them throwing her stuff in shopping bags and putting them on the curb, to her mom saying that she’s “terrified of her” daughter to Candy, and her sister saying that she thinks her sister is “crazy”… Gosh, they were just so judgemental and mean. Even Elena bothered me in this episode. She acted as like she was on such a high horse in parts of the episode, and didnt show much empathy towards Sarah. I’d figure that after being treated so poorly six months prior, Elena would at least bat for Sarah a little more, like Sarah did for Elena when Elena was using. This episode really revealed alot about the unhealthy family dynamics. That they seem to portray their caring for one another in a more abrassive fashion. I wish the best friend all of them.

    Posted by Man Bearpaw | January 18, 2017, 7:21 pm
    • I agree with everything you said 100%. I didn’t like how Sarah’s family treated her either. They treated her like she was a mentally ill drug addict, which is how my parents treat me and it became a self fulfilling prophecy. Her family dynamics are very similiar to my own family. My mom has narcissistic personality disorder and likes to cast herself into the martyr role. I use those terms quite purposefully as my mom says, “Life is a stage and I’m the lead actress!” So everything she does and says goes along with whatever role she has decided to play.

      Idk that Sarah’s mother has NPD, but she has definitely taken up the martyr role, not the codependent one. In my experience most people who take on the martyr role are narcissists, to some degree. Many would qualify for NPD, but people with personality disorders rarely seek professional help because they don’t need it, but whoever they’re martyr-ing for certainly does, and it can easily be more than one person.

      Unfortunately, most of the time therapists, interventionists, and treatment centers “treat” parents for codependency, and for a parent in the martyr role, that is the worst thing you can do. Parents in the usual codependent role help their child, but in the wrong way. Parents in the martyr role help minimally regardless if the child is sick/in their addiction or healthy. For example, Sarah is allowed to live at home but she sleeps under the stairs with her son. She isn’t allowed a regular room, even sharing with her sister. Her mom is doing the bare minimum to help her under the guise “I’m not helping Sarah, I’m helping Jacoby, and she just so happens to be his mom, so I’m forced to help her to help him.” No good grandmother would allow a baby to live on the streets, and after all, she appears to be a good grandmother, right? Appears. It’s all about appearances.

      When a martyr does help it is because they are getting something out of it, whether it’s to look good at church (or whatever group they are trying to impress), save face when called out, to manipulate, but mostly to get attention, even as a reason to complain to someone else how horrible their child is “even after all I’ve done to help, but to no avail,” and basically re-establish themselves as the martyr. Help from a parent in the martyr role always comes with strings attached, and when they are told by an interventionist or therapist to stop being codependent, they interpret it to mean stop helping. With anything. Ever. They tend to take it to an extreme. As far as they are concerned, they’re now let off the hook. They can get away with not helping because the therapist “said so,” but still reap the rewards. After all, now they are helping by not helping. So now they won’t help at all, even with positive things, because that would be enabling… and the therapist said not to enable, right?

      Continued below

      Posted by Nicole | January 25, 2017, 8:32 am
    • I’d also like to point out that Sarah’s mother had her martyr role long before Sarah with her own mother, Elena. She did the same things to Elena that she did to Sarah. Once Elena got in recovery, she needed a new subject to martyr. She was no longer given the attention, adoration, accolades and reassurance she needed from being the martyr to Elena, so she moved on to Sarah. Suddenly Sarah was a gnarly drug addict that needed saving. She transferred from her mother to her daughter.

      This right here proves my theory that the martyr needs someone to be sick. If it’s not one person, he/she will find someone else to fill the role. It doesn’t matter who it is, because it’s just a role in their play. They are the star of the show, the martyr, the hero, the savior. And they need someone to play the role of the sick person to be “saved.” After all, they can’t be savior of there is no one to save. If one person heals, they will just cast another because the show must go on!

      Depending on how sick they themselves are, ranging from narcissistic tendencies to full blown NPD, depends on how seriously they take their “subjects.” To some, quite literally, life is a stage and they are the lead actor/actress and it is all a game to them. They likely don’t even realize what they are doing and the damage it’s causing. Many times they truly believe they are helping much more than they actually are. They have grandiose notions of their servitude, and may truly believe that if their subject heals, it’s because of something they did. “I sent her to treatment…” “It was MY idea he start at the methadone clinic, so if it weren’t for ME he would still be a junkie.” “I paid for therapy… so if it weren’t for MY contribution…” They must take credit where credit is due! And many times the perceived credit is nothing more than a cloud of smoke.

      I’m not saying Sarah’s mother did all of this stuff, but I do think that she, like many others, established part of her identity as the martyr and had a hard time letting that go.

      However, I’ve had so much experience with maternal narcissism that I discussed much more in depth because many people, including myself, thought that everything to do with my mom was my fault, and didn’t know she is sick. Hopefully someone out there can relate to my experience and got something out of all I’ve written, because I don’t want anyone to go through what I did thinking it was all my fault for over 20 years.

      Posted by Nicole | January 25, 2017, 9:23 am
      • That’s interesting. I did wonder during the episode if there were some kind of scapegoating pattern going on – which often takes place in dysfunctional families. Someone always has to be cast as the failure or the “bad guy”, usually the person with the lowest self esteem or the most issues. It seemed like Elena was so relieved to finally be rid of the family scapegoat role and be a “good” person again, but now the family had to find someone else to be the scapegoat/black sheep instead and that role fell to Sarah. I’m not saying this was in any way intentional on anyone’s part, just often is the way this family dynamic works, and can happen on a completely subconscious level. And I have seen it happen in my own family, too.

        Posted by BARB | April 10, 2017, 6:12 am
      • I’ve dealt with maternal matryrism for most of my life. I’ve learned to listen, stay detached & calm, and not immediately swoop in to help–she’s codependent & anxious. She’s recently sought help for the anxiety and the therapist explained that her helping was enabling. So I guess I’m saying I understand what ur going through & have been through.

        Posted by Jenna | September 13, 2017, 7:15 am
  11. My question is where did the dad go? He shouldn’t have abandoned the kids no matter what his problems with mom.

    Posted by Elizabeth | April 24, 2017, 8:06 pm
    • That’s what I was thinking, too. Especially since he and Sarah said she was a daddy’s girl. His abandonment further reinforced she was bad & wrong for telling on her mom. (Armchair psychologist)

      Posted by Jenna | September 13, 2017, 7:20 am
  12. https://www.gofundme.com/2r479sgc

    Her baby in the episode, Jacoby, turned out to be autistic (probably because the drugs she took) and nearly drowns in the fathers care, who also has full custody of Jacoby. Such a shame. Pray for this family!

    Posted by Jan | April 24, 2017, 8:21 pm
  13. https://www.gofundme.com/2r479sgc

    Her son almost drowned

    Posted by ldbell210 | April 25, 2017, 12:33 pm
  14. Omg glad the little guy survived. What a sad story

    Posted by Flo | September 20, 2017, 6:25 pm
  15. I don’t understand why this person is receiving government assisstance. She is not disabled.

    Posted by Kim | January 19, 2018, 2:21 pm
    • Is she getting disability? There are a couple of types of “government assistance” that she could be getting that don’t require her to be disabled. She could be getting WIC (Supplemental Nutrition for Women, Infants and Children); TANF (Temporary Assistance for Needy Families); SNAP (Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program) and others…

      Posted by Elizabeth | January 19, 2018, 8:27 pm
  16. Your etiological statement on Autism is not only baseless, but totally out of line.

    Posted by Tazz | January 19, 2018, 9:00 pm
  17. She looks great on her FB page. Looks like she has a beautiful family going (seeing family pictures of them) which now includes 3 kids! Good for her!

    Posted by kitty katt | April 6, 2018, 7:06 pm

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