Season 12, Episode 10
Cher
Age: 50
Location: Dana Point, California
Addiction: Alcohol (vodka)
What’s memorable: Cher’s alcoholism seems to have made her a pretty awful person to be around. She’s just so mean and needy and sensitive, so desperate for attention; the things she does and says to try and force her family to “love” her, to treat her the way she thinks she deserves to be treated. The way she harangues her dying father and tries to make her daughter feel guilty for having her own life is just horrific. The followup was briefly awesome.
Official Synopsis: Loud and spunky 50-year old alcohol addiction has led to liver damage and is driving a wedge between herself and her family.
Original Air Date: October 2012
Interventionist: Seth
She seems like she could be a fun person if she couldve stayed sober. Too bad she immediately relapsed. Im wondering if she found out her dad passed when she got out, like maybe the family kept it from her in treatment? Just a thought. I hope Brooke doesnt let her mother bring her down, and I wish her and her fiance- maybe husband now?- a good life.
I was really shocked at how selfish this woman is. I know addiction can make people selfish, but to expect her daughter to give up her life so she could have a constant ego boost just made me angry. I hope her daughter goes out and lives the best life she can.
I bet narcissism is extremely common amongst addicts.
there is a very high rate of people with personality disorders who also have co-morbid substance abuse. conversely, however, the majority of people with SUD do not have diagnosable personality disorders.
She has borderline personality disorder not narcissism.
She absolutely is a model case of borderline personality disorder. It isn’t no empathy but very difficult to have empathy when you are emotionally flooded which she was all the time. Fear of abandonment is the most prominent hallmark of the disorder. I have written four books on the topic.
I had a “diagnosed” Narcassistic Mother. They are HORRIBLE to grow up with. And having alcohol added on top?? I can’t imagine.
I have a narcissistic mother and I thought the same thing. I could see the signs. She was a great mom until Brooke was about 7 or so, which is when children start to see themselves as seperate from their mother. My mom is the same way. Also the constant need for attention, one of my moms nicknames growing up was “the COA” for Center Of Attention. It’s all drama, it’s all a show, there are no deep emotions. My mom isn’t an alcoholic, and it’s possible that Cher would be a good mother if she wasn’t, but she is… I really commend her son in law for what nice things he said about her, even though she seemed to poke and pick at him.
Mine mother is disordered, and I saw the signs too. I was very impressed with her daughter’s ability to set boundaries and her daughter’s boyfriend’s support of the daughter.
She has borderline personality disorder not narcissism.
She has borderline personality disorder not narcissistic personality disorder. Fear of abandonment is the hallmark of BPD.
I believe she is more likely to Borderline Personality Disorder than NPD. It is those with Borderline who are constantly needy for love and approval and terrified of abandonment, going to insane lengths to try to keep their loved ones from leaving or rejecting them, which often has the opposite effect. I’m surprised she wasn’t diagnosed in treatment. With DBT therapy many people with Borderline can actually learn to break these negative needy patterns and go on to have healthier, happier relationships and lives. I am not surprised she relapsed, but with the right therapy she could get better. I really hope she does.
I just watched this episode and had to jump on here to see if anyone else has picked up on the fact she probably has Borderline Personality Disorder. As someone who’s had loved ones with both NPD and BPD, she strikes me as someone really more on the BPD end. Kudos to her daughter for prioritizing her own wellness and for setting boundaries. Boundaries are love.
While watching this episode I immediately recognized her BPD as well. Which is what brought me to this page. I agree if she was properly diagnosed maybe she could get treatment for that along with her drinking problem. People suffering from BPD often have addiction issues as well as depression. Her family life just made her symptoms even more extreme (upbringing, abuse, etc). I think what she needs is therapy for her BPD and for her family to understand that illness and why is causes her to be the way she is. They were pretty cold at times. Within reason, of course, since their own well being is a priority as well. I hope they find peace
Correct a Mundo
She has borderline personality disorder not narcissism.
How are you so sure? No attack here just would like to know the reasons out of curiosity.
oh my gosh… I got to say that this was one of the most needy addicts. Her poor daughter… I hope she gets sober and I hope her daughter and her husband are happily married
When I watched this I had a huge amount of compassion for Cher. She was a repeatedly traumatized kid. She was beaten randomly by her father, without any apparent provocation. She was so obviously a shell of a person, who was never allowed to ask “why” she was being hit. So of course she internalized all kinds of negative ideas about herself. No one ever helped her cope with that long-term abuse. It doesn’t surprise me that she self-medicates with alcohol. It seems as if she hadn’t had any real therapeutic experiences before this intervention. To recover from this kind of trauma, from the entire childhood of walking on eggshells and being abused, takes LOTS of therapy. Her relationship to her daughter is of course very problematic. She needs support from some other source than her daughter, and if she doesn’t have it, recovery is going to be much less likely.
This episode just made me sad. My father committed suicide when I was ten, at the time he was 40 and my mother was 43. She had an upbringing similar to chers, though my mother was mostly just a pot smoker. She’s bubbly and funny, and when she decided to “get out there” once her children were old teenagers (sisters were 14 and 15nwhen dad died) the bar scene has turned her into a strange kind of late life alcoholic. Funny, retired with money, and she doesn’t need anyone to support her or her pint to fifth a day habit. We also live in a party lake town. I wish I could convince her to get some help. She’s so codependent and I’m trying to start my life… Hope things have gotten better for Brooke and Cher and the whole family.
I felt sorry for her dad! and her daughter?
So what happened with cher? Does anyone have updates?
I would love to know as well.
You feel sorry for the man who physically abused her and her sisters at random throughout their childhood? Are you joking?
Right? I was a little put off by that statement myself…. I’m not trying to excuse Cher’s irritating, immature behavior, but her dad was no victim. He made that bed and he can lie in it.
My boyfriend was abused by his father after his mom passed away from breast cancer in 2001. His father recently passed away from a heart attack in June 2021. My boyfriend was estranged from his dad and guess what? He forgave him but he didn’t keep in contact with him. He did what was best for himself because his dad was very toxic. His father abusing him led him to drinking, drugs, etc. My man has been clean 5 years now. From an outsider standpoint, I can see why someone would feel sorry for someone who abused them because you hang onto the good memories that existed before the abuse took place. My boyfriend’s dad was a wonderful father to him and his brother but when their mom passed away from cancer, it broke him. He turned to the bottle instead of getting grief counseling. His culture and mentality made him think that therapy was a sign of weakness and that he could deal with his grief on his own. That’s not how you heal.
Brooke’s fiancé, Brandon? He is such a great guy! Brooke chose well!
I feel the same way. His letter was awesome. He really took the interventionists advice and put in perfectly in words. Good job.
What happened to her? She relapsed at the end of her episode , did she ever get any help?
This woman was the absolute worst addict, so insupportable. I get she was abused and never dealt with things but to deal with her the way she behaves with her daughter and her self pity was revolting. Her daughter was lucky enough to find a man who loves her and she can’t even be happy for her she acts like a kid, major growth stunt. It was hard to feel bad for her behaving the way she does wallowing in her victim mentality. Hopefully she either got well or at least let her daughter fucking breathe and love her own life.
*victim mentality*, um, she was a literal victim. as a child. “I get she was abused”… no no you don’t. Her daughter wasn’t that great, to be quiet honest, especially when it came to her mom’s past abuse.
Her daughter was a victime too. Her mother started heavily drinking at 7 years old and had her own kid take care of her and watch her try to commit suicide. I think she was justified in how she treated her mother.
Sher absolutely has borderline personality disorder, a personality disorder I have spent the last 25 years writing about. The most significant hallmark of the disorder is fear of abandonment, and when they told the story of her running down to her daughters car I knew immediately she had it. What is so sad is that if she had gotten treatment for it right after the substance-abuse treatment, she could have made it. If you want to look up my book it is stop walking on eggshells and I have two others as well. For her daughter, it will be a lifetime of healing. I had a mother with BPD too.
Disregard the previous response, this clears it up
I have an immediate family member with BPD. Where do I begin to learn about how to have a healthy relationship with them? Is it even possible?
Does anyone know what happened to Cher? I really felt for her and her daughter – I hope they are ok and Cher is sober x
Just wow! This episode hit so close to home. I truly hope Cher got sober. But I truly wish the best for the daughter and hubby to be.. Does anyone have a update?
She needed more than 90 days – maybe 9 months. She needed sober living and to move to a different state to start over. How many of the addicts relapse after returning to their old stomping grounds?
alcohol is just a symptom of the issues she has. I feel very sorry for her and hope today shes sober and loving life!
I wish there was a follow up for people like Cher. I wonder if she ever got sober.