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Episode 158: Kimberly

Season 11 Episode 4

kimberly-alcohol

Kimberly
Age: 34
Location: Elkhart, Indiana
Addiction: Alcohol
What’s memorable: The huge ass mansion she lives in while drinking herself to death everyday, the way her boyfriend thinks of addiction and of her as an asset to fix up and turn around like he does his properties, and his locking her up in the spare room for 3 days to detox her. “When he let me out, I walked to the nearest liquor store, came back, locked myself back in, and proceeded to get drunk” – Kimberly. Why is this episode on the Most Disturbing list? The follow up. Just watch it. See the vacancy, the superficiality of the words, the complete lack of commitment. You know as soon as she starts talking into the camera that she’s not staying sober for long. So damn awkward and real.

Official Synopsis: To the outside world, Kimberly lives a dream life in an extravagant mansion without a financial care in the world. But the “dream” is really a nightmare because Kimberly is an alcoholic with no limits. She lives with her boyfriend, who has locked her in a bedroom in an effort to stop her from drinking. Kimberly’s father has written her off, but the family must come together or Kimberly will continue to drown her pain in alcohol.

Original Air Date: January 2012
Interventionist: Jeff

Categories: Alcohol, Jeff, Most Disturbing Episodes, Most In-Denial Addicts, Most Unforgettable Episodes, Season 11

Discussion

25 Responses to “Episode 158: Kimberly”

  1. Wow, Dizzy you were right. I just watched a rerun of this episode, and you could tell that this chick just wasn’t having it while in rehab. THEN she gets out of rehab, gets picked up for PI and blames it on her perfume!?! Unless Kimberly gets honest with herself and everybody else, her days are numbered. The follow up said that she got sober in 2013. I hope so, but I’m skeptical.

    Posted by Donna | March 29, 2015, 3:12 pm
  2. The vacancy in her face in rehab is amazing. It’s like her brain said, “Smile, you’re supposed to smile” which she barely gets out.

    Also, the Hairflip of Contempt during the intervention is a sight to behold.

    Posted by Ruth | March 29, 2015, 4:14 pm
  3. If she isn’t already, I strongly believe Kim belongs on the “most in-denial” list. Her comments in the follow up are proof that she truly believes her drinking is not a problem. I sincerely hope a bottom is it before she ends up like Bret and Lawrence.

    Posted by Sara | April 16, 2015, 7:23 am
  4. I just watched this episode again recently and googled her afterward. I found a blog which she appeared to start following the episode/intervention. There is only one post but there are six comments. One is from either her or someone pretending to be her saying she has hep C and cirrhosis and is going to die without a liver transplant. I really hope it’s some twisted joke.

    http://kimberlyanncarr.blogspot.com/2012/01/introduction-to-all.html#comment-form

    That is the site.

    Posted by Melissa Rose | July 30, 2015, 5:00 pm
  5. I also wondered how she ended up with jail time for such a minor charge? (i.e. public intoxication) She must’ve been on probation for something else because I’ve never heard of anything like that.

    Posted by Melissa Rose | August 22, 2015, 12:12 pm
  6. I agree with the comments on here so far. The “hair swipe” which a previous commentator noted stood out for me too and I didn’t realize it was a silent insult, I thought it was just snobby but that didn’t really fit either. Anyways interesting that observation to the commentator who pointed that out. I feel lucky that I was able to see a genuine smile during this whole show at all, and that was when she just entered rehab and talked about how her father cried and how loved she felt by that. This is a majorly emotionally neglected woman with extremely deep feelings of worthlessness. Combine that with how the rehab psychologist commented on her lack of insight being a hurdle, equals a difficult situation. She comes off as not very bright either but I wonder if that is an effect of the drugs, I don’t know if low intelligence can hurt ones recovery, I imagine too high or too low isn’t good. Her bf I just don’t get, seems like he’s on some power trip? I don’t know. Too bad she returned to him after rehab. It made me more sad than usually to see she had failed, I think her profound sense of loss and sadness and well, hopelessness actually is what made me really want to see a spirit of hope in her again. Yes and I agree, the things she said at the end of rehab with how she felt like
    A new person seemed totally scripted, it almost looked like she was lying with how her eyes darted around right after she said that. She looked better when she was in jail, more spunk in her face. The way she glanced at the camera while walking in line at the jail and gave a shy smile was perplexing and not really appropriate for the situation. Just an incredibly lost soul. Oh and I am not sure that the comments on her blog are actually her, I hope not. If so then I am so sorry to hear she needs a liver transplant and has about 6 months to live (from the time of this comment). Damn it makes me feel so bad, like evil has triumphed or something yet I know that everyone can change their lives if they really want to it still makes me feel like something won. Not like she failed. Perhaps I get this sense from her of being extremely lost to the point of trancelike and possessed by something. There’s just something almost so unsettling about her demeanor, I can’t pintpoint it and I’m jot sure I even want to know, I hope that doesn’t make me sound like a bad person to write that. Anyways, alcoholism is awful, I shudder to think of it. I’m never going to allow myself to drink, ever.

    Posted by Dhalia | October 3, 2015, 8:01 pm
    • Oh and I wanted to say one more thing… her bf (exbf technically). That he locked her in a room for her to detox against her will is extremely disturbing. I’m not an expert of any kind but I wonder if that could be regarded as a form of abuse? It wouldn’t technically be abuse in the sense that he wanted to hurt her… Perhaps negligence? In any event, what he did was very very wrong. The show hinted at that especially with the editing when the interventionist (who is my least favorite one, he always says the same thing and is so incredibly dry) says the whole “family is not the treatment” center anymore spiel he always says and the camera focuses on her bad during that time and you can see the guilt as he squirms in his seat. My point is the show should have said something more about what her be did…. then again maybe that is a strength of the show that it lets the actions speak for themselves. Then again, I worry that someone of lesser intelligence will watch this episode and think that locking someone up is a good idea because there was no outright strong affirmative criticism of it. I feel that maybe he shouldn’t have even been allowed to be in the intervention considering this event…. I don’t know. I just find it to be so disturbing… She really could have died. He even consulted his attorneys on doing that??? Just doesn’t make sense… Maybe he wanted to make sure that legally he’d be ok since he was doing it from his heart?? I don’t think he’s a bad person necessarily, I just question the way A&E handled the presentation of that horrific event in Kimberlys life.

      Posted by Dahlia | October 3, 2015, 8:25 pm
      • Hello,

        I’m not sure if you’ll be notified of my reply to your response to Kimberly’s episode however, I just wanted to make note of a couple things – as an avid Intervention watcher. Being a former addict myself – I can relate very closely to this show, and perhaps that’s why I consider it one of my favorites and sympathize deeply with (most) of the addicts. In Kimberly’s case with her then-boyfriend, I’d actually have to disagree with you on his desperation act of locking her up in the spare bedroom for 3 days. As long as she wasn’t deprived of food & water, I actually think the act was justifiable. Being involved with an addict either as a family member, friend or significant other can cause desperation and desperate times call for desperate measures. This is a woman who had hit rock bottom multiple times, resulting in several charges that led to jail time and being sent to countless rehabs – yet still resorted to her drinking after all the attempts her family made. Her boyfriend was most likely only locking her up because he felt like it was the only thing he could do at the time – he had no choice. Her days were numbered literally – as alcohol is by far the most damaging to your body health wise out of all the drugs I can name, and while it takes awhile for your body to fully deteriorate from the negative impact alcohol causes – a fatal outcome is inevitable. He had two choices, to sit around and wait for his partner to hit a permanent rock bottom which could’ve quite easily resulted in death, (perhaps not from the alcohol itself but the impaired judgment she had while drinking alcohol which could’ve resulted in her seriously harming herself, or someone else from public intoxication or even driving under the influence), OR his second option was taking the matter into his own hands, as most would do in a state of desperation, trying to heal those you love and care for. It might have seemed disturbing to you, but what was really disturbing was the harm Kimberly was doing to herself, and her body. His unethical intervention of locking her up in the bedroom for 3 days failed, ultimately because it has the be the addict’s will to want to get help & get clean. Without the willpower to get sober and stay sober, the outcome will always be failure. The addict will run right back to the one thing that they’ve become dependent on as an emotional & physical crutch to rid them of their pain by numbing all sense of their emotions or feelings – their drug of choice. While an intervention by the family often becomes the final attempt at trying to save the addict from themselves & the drug, it is the addict & the addict only who has the tools to remain sober. And coming from experience, it’s not easy. It’s an everyday battle to fight off the temptation to use, resulting in a relapse, TRUST me. I went to an NA meeting (anonymous meetings that are held several times a week all over North American cities for addicts & recovering addicts as a means of helping eachother stay clean by joining together and sharing stories and offering moral support to those struggling) and there was one of the female addicts, headlining the meeting with her story of addiction and how she reached 6 months of sobriety which while that not being much, was the longest she’d ever been clean in years. Her method of getting clean was along the same lines of Kimberly’s boyfriends attempt to get her clean. This female addict told her PARENTS to lock her in their unfinished basement for atleast a week and refuse to give in and let her out, even if she screamed, cried, pleaded or begged to be set free. She was in that basement for 7 days, with no food – only water, no source of sunlight (it was an underground basement with the windows tapped shut), no WiFi, social interactions or entertainment. She said detoxing off her DOC (drug of choice) was complete and utter hell.. She described it as the worst case of the flu one could ever have (and having detoxed off my DOC for 8 days to get clean, I know EXACTLY how she felt). She puked nonstop, direhea, severe muscle pains, sleep deprivation from restlessness, cold sweats, hot sweats, shakes, mood swings, and strong drug cravings – but she fought off all the pain, and suffering, and the abundance of tears and on Day 8 – she finally felt ready to leave that basement and she said she walked out feeling like a new person, with no desire to ever use a drug again and the strong desire to stay clean and lead a sober life. The point is, sometimes desperate measures work, but like I said – the addict has to want it for themselves and Kimberly clearly wasn’t ready.
        Just some food for thought :).

        Where I WILL agree with you whomever is on that Jeff guy, the elder interventionist with that god awful balding head that shines like a bowling bald. Speaking of desperate, he’s quite desperate to hold onto the remains of his hair clinging to the edges of his head, and refuses to shave it off.. Which is probably a good thing because he has a very unattractively shaped head. However, I didn’t intend to pick him apart and probably appear quite shallow doing so as he seems like a very genuinely nice guy, he just isn’t an ideal interventionist. He’s very dry and lacks sincerity AND integrity in his words. He’s very repetitive and almost sounds scripted when he prepares the family for the intervention as even more so DURING the intervention. Each addict’s case is very individual as each addict is themselves, and while many of their story’s involve the same substance of dependency, their story’s of addiction are quite different – yet Jeff uses the exact same script of words while relating to each one and their families. Here’s a few of his favourite phrases, just to name a few:
        – During pre-intervention: “You guys are his treatment centre. Well, here’s the thing, you suck at it. You’re not fit for the job, so I’m going to relieve you of the burden of running it – you’re fired.” (Like, SERIOUSLY?? I’ve never heard something so corny.)
        – To the addict: “I’m here with your family and they love you like crazy but they feel like they’re losing you, so they’re going to fight to get you back. Don’t talk, just listen.” (An important line and also the reality of the situation, but after hearing the line 100 times, it loses its sincerity.)
        – During pre-intervention: “(insert addicts name here) Is your mood altering substance. They are intruding into your life, all the time, and you try to go about your day with church and groceries and dinner but (addicts name) is still on your conscious and therefore your mood altering substance.”

        Luckily he isn’t the interventionist for every single episode or he’d probably end up driving me crazy and ruining one of my favourite shows! Hehe.

        Anyways just my input! Sorry for the rant haha. I feel very strongly on topics of discussion relating to addiction for obvious reasons. Maybe one day, I’ll have the courage to start a blog on my own journey of addiction and how it led me to where I am today.. Sober and happy.

        Posted by Alyssa | November 21, 2015, 4:06 am
      • Alyssa – I respect your perspective but I disagree with you on a number of points. First – locking Kimberly in a room to detox was, at best, dangerously misguided and at worst, could have been fatal. People can die detoxing from alcohol. It was highly irresponsible and her boyfriend was lucky he didn’t kill her. Worth noting – it was also completely ineffective.

        As for your comments on Jeff, I like his point-blank, no bullshit style. I absolutely think that he is scripted and I think that’s a good thing. He uses the language he uses because he’s been doing interventions for a long time and he knows what works. Before the show gained in popularity, while Jeff might have said the same things thousands of times in his career, families haven’t heard it thousands of times. Saying that the family has been the treatment center and they suck at it so they are fired – it’s true. They have been doing whatever they are doing to try to “save” or “fix” the addict and they are spectacularly unsuited to do this. By “firing” them, Jeff is giving them permission to let the addict go – to get help from people who are qualified to help. Maybe some find it cheesy but it does seem to work. Families seem to hear what he is saying. And he seems to have a pretty good success rate getting addicts to treatment. All the interventionists have their standard lines – Candy always says that she “got sober because of her kids.” Ken always asks the addict if he/she can feel “how much love is in the room for them.”

        As for addicts being individuals – sure they are. But addiction is addiction. These interventionists know what the patterns are and what the commonalities are in addicts’ behaviors and enabling behaviors. Sure – they tweak the approach to some of the characteristics of the family but they are following a particular model of intervention with a specific set of foundational beliefs (that addiction is a disease and more specifically a family disease; that the intervention has the best possible chance of success if it is a surprise to the addict). Those practices are rooted in some set of research that indicates that they work.

        In any event, Kimberly was clearly very sick and I hope for the best for her. Would love to see a follow up.

        Posted by Elizabeth | November 10, 2017, 8:13 pm
      • People can legit die from alcohol withdrawal DTs. It is the only withdrawal that can actually kill you. So, yes, he was very wrong to lock her in a room for three days. I get it- addicts are frustrating to deal with. My mother is an alcoholic. Doesn’t give me the right to lock her up like a prisoner and potentially kill her.

        Posted by Tobie | November 12, 2017, 12:35 pm
  7. https://www.facebook.com/kimberly.carr.351

    Found her facebook page. She looks good, but cannot tell if she is still drinking or not.

    Posted by Michelle | March 9, 2016, 2:31 pm
    • Well, I can’t tell either… I definitely noticed the weight loss. But if the above blog mentioned it to be believe and she is ill, that could be a reason. One day at a time

      Posted by Ash | March 9, 2016, 11:48 pm
  8. She died a few months ago. Found obit on google. Kimberly was 33

    Posted by Dewey | March 10, 2016, 7:26 pm
  9. I guess ur right Diz. Could have sworn i saw it. This is her facebook link.

    https://m.facebook.com/kimberly.carr.351?refid=13

    Posted by Dewey | March 11, 2016, 12:44 pm
  10. Kimberly’s blog still has a single post but she added some recent comments to her 2012 post.

    In July 2015 she commented:
    “This is Kimberly and I have fallen and am very ill. I have cirrhosis and hep. C. THEY haven’t given me long, 6 months, and I need a liver.”

    (Oops! I just saw that this comment has already been referred to in a post above mine: sorry about that)

    However she added some more comments in May 2016 which lead me to believe that she either had her liver transplant (which by the way also means that she had at least months of sobriety beforehand since they don’t let active alcoholics get a liver transplant) or that she outlasted her doctors’ prognosis. She doesn’t mention the transplant or her health at all in the latest posts. I hope she’ll be fine.

    Posted by Kyle | July 7, 2016, 11:56 am
  11. Hello I live in Spain and love watching intervention but dont get to watch many episodes with a&e asking for a tv provider to log in, so does anyone know of a website i could be able to watch the episodes or if they sell them on DVDs? Would much appreciate any help
    Thanks!

    Posted by Kayla | December 23, 2016, 4:01 pm
    • Amazon.com sells dvds of full seasons, and streams individual episodes for $2 or $3, I think.Amazon Prime members at one time got some seasons free-not sure if still available.

      Posted by Lagaya1 | December 23, 2016, 4:06 pm
  12. Any updates on Kimberly. Hope she’s doing well

    Posted by Flo | November 8, 2017, 9:12 pm

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