Send Dizzy a Tip!

Buy Me a Coffee

Season 3, Episode 13


Age: 49
Location: Unsure
Addiction: Alcohol
What’s memorable: How needy and depressed and downright annoying she gets when she’s drunk, the childhood abuse that still haunts her everyday and that she is obviously self-medicating to deal with.

Official Synopsis: Pam is a 49-year-old alcoholic who has suffered a string of abusive, failed marriages and horrific molestation as a child. Drinking is her only way to cope. Her frightened family has already lost one sibling to cirrhosis of the liver. Their greatest fear is that Pam will fall to the same fate unless an intervention can save her life.

Original Air Date: August 2007
Interventionist: Candy

All comments.

  1. Voltaria

    Follow up info on Pam:

    Pam accepted treatment and became sober as of July 2007. One of Pam’s nieces posted on the Intervention forum on in July 2008 and said that Pam was approaching one year sober and is now engaged to marry Marvin.

    Also, there is a follow up video here:

    We all wish you good luck and success on your road to recovery, Pam!

  2. Sarah Thomas

    I bet Pam is a wonderful and insightful person under all that alcohol. Good job getting sober and living a happy life! You are worth it!!

  3. Nicole

    Pam is from Arizona, btw. Also, I could relate to her story so much about being raped and no one believing me. Idk how she lasted so long because I’m still in pain from it 7 years later. I do the same thing with guys where I need them but push them away and then feel disgusted with how needy and mean I can be. I feel like she went through so much and if she can make it through to the other side then maybe I can too. Although I’m on methadone for my heroin addiction all the other stuff like obsessing about the rape is still there. Just taking away the drugs or alcohol is not enough. Does anyone know how she is doing today? I would really like to speak with her. Does anyone know how to contact her?

    1. Courtney

      There was a brief follow up in tonight’s episode. She looked great and is a substitute school nurse.

    2. April

      I am Pam’s sister, April. I am on her Intervention. A lot has happened since the show. As far as I know she is still sober. In August of this year, her son, my nephew Richard was murdered. In 2011, our mother passed. Pam is no longer married to Marvin. Pam is on FB as Ann Ruelas.

      1. Amy

        I’m so sorry April. I hope you’re doing well and the rest of the family. I’m so sad to hear the news about Richard. I wish it weren’t so.

      2. Chrissy

        I just watched her episode today for the 2nd time. I’m so sorry to hear about Richard and your Mom!!! Is She still sober??? Is her name Pam or Ann? I hope your family is doing well.

      3. Amy Lawson

        I am so sorry to hear about your nephew and Mother. .. and I’m sorry for whatever happened within the family…I only say that because u wrote ‘as far as I know, she’s sober’. You were very good to her from what I saw on the show…take care and God bless you all

  4. Lorna

    Are you still with marvin

  5. Tia April

    I am a relative of Pam. A horrible tragedy happened in August. Her son, Richard who was in the show was killed. A sensless tragedy. Our family has immense sadness, and of course shock. He had 3 kids.

  6. Andy

    Pam seems like a beautiful soul under all that drinking. She has been through so much even these past few years with her and Marvin no longer together, her mom and son dying, I know she probably has a lot of hurt. Losing a child is the worst thing ever. I hope she is able to maintain her sobriety because no matter how bad things get relapsing only makes things harder.

  7. sarah

    Pam, you have such a beautiful, sweet soul. Please never give up on yourself!!! There is always light in the darkness

  8. Ashley

    Pam.. this may never reach you personally, but just know that your story touched me deeply. My sister is an alcoholic who lives with me. Seeing your recovery has been inspirational to say the least. I am so saddened to hear the news of your precious mijo’s passing. Live the healthiest and happiest life you know how, in his memory.

  9. Brooke

    i’m surprised no one mentioned how awful the mother was! who doesn’t believe their own daughter when she says she was sexually assaulted??! one of her other daughters was even raped by the same man! sometimes the interventionist confronts the guilty party, forces them to admit their wrongdoing, and has them apologize; why didn’t candy do that here? those were clearly still huge unresolved issues for pam, both of the sexual assaults, as well as her mother’s refusal to believe her and support her. i think she needed to hear that, to hear her mom say, “i’m sorry for not believing you and supporting you when it happened. but i’m here for you now and i love you.”.

    1. Andy

      Well I only haven’t because her mom has since passed and I don’t believe in talking ill of the dead. Although at the end of the intervention right before she leaves for treatment she gives everyone hugs and she says “I need you to believe me mom” and she says “I will” and they hug and cry.

      1. April Urbanos

        I am the sister of Pam, April. I wrote into the show and was so happy that her story was chosen. I am so devastated, and angry at some of the comments on here. Our mother made some bad choices, but.she is still our mom. She was very unhappy, depressed, angry….she never sought.out the help she so desperately needed and Pam and I are pretty sure. that she suffered a lot of abuse, both physically and mentally., she rarely ever talked about her past. Any type.of abuse when she was young, was never to be spoke of. Pam is doing good, 12yrs sober. When her son Richard was murdered, everyone thought that she would go back to drinking. That didn’t happen. I seriously just wish the dang negative comments could be kept at bay. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and if it’s that negative kind of keep it to yourself. I know if my sister Pam read all this stuff pretty pissed off okay got to go and appreciate the positive comments you’ll have to excuse any of the typos I have really bad neuropathy in my fingers

      2. Andy

        Hi April. I’m sorry if any of my post have offended or angered you. I’m glad to hear that Pam is still sober all these years later. She has gone through so much before and after the show. I’m sorry to hear about your nephew Richard! Your sister is a very strong person. I know many people that would not have made it as long as she has with everything this world has thrown at her.

      3. Ez

        Her mother is a big reason Pam drank. Just because back in her day abuse was supposed to be kept quiet does not excuse her for what she did to her two children. I sympathize with certain culture norms but to not acknowledge that her own family is tired of listening to her abuse story and she needs to get over it is fucking toxic. We need to Stop excusing bad behavior. I also find the people claiming that they got over their abuse so why can’t she, are projecting. I don’t give a shit about how great you are and how much better you are then other abuse victims. Not everything is about you. stop trying to manipulate and invalidate other survivors to make yourself feel special and superior.

    2. Kara

      Candy may have said something to her mom we only see maybe five minutes of the intervention we don’t see everything that’s said… but now that her mother has passed we shouldn’t be even saying anything negative about her, plus we don’t know enough about their lives.

  10. April Urbanos

    No need to be sorry Andy. I need tougher skin. There is No way to not NOT see negative comments. It really isn’t up to me. Pam and I don’t talk much anymore, there’s just been so much tragedy in this family, some just too awful to say. there isn’t really a family anymore. I saw Pam last in the 3 yr anniversary of Richards death.

    1. Kitty Katt

      Hi April, Just wanted to say how sorry to hear about all the tragedy your family has and is going through. I remember this episode very well and it touched me dearly. I pray that you and your family may find strength and be able to heal so you can get back together. Big hugs to you and your family.

      I’m sorry to hear about your nephew. I don’t want to offend you by any means so you don’t need to answer but I was wondering what happened to him? I remember him on the episode and am so sad to hear this. Peace to you and your family.

      1. April Urbanos

        He was murdered. The hells angels took his life. Unfortunately, Richard was in the Mongols which the 2 biker clubs are to shoot each other upon site. SENSELESS I’m afraid the peace won’t touch this family, sad but no one knows how to deal with everything that has happened….

      2. Kitty Katt

        I’m so sorry April. I will pray for you and your family.

        Thank you for responding.

    2. meg

      I’m really sorry to hear about all this, April. I’m overjoyed to hear Pam was so strong and kept sober after her son was murdered. I think it’s hard when we watch these episodes because we always feel extreme empathy for the addict but we never know the whole story. Thanks for sharing this info about your mom as it helps to better understand what she was going through. Wish you and Pam and family the best always <3

  11. April Urbanos

    Of course. Thank you

    1. J M

      I hope your family is doing well and has found more healing since you last commented. Dealing with the murder of a loved one is never easy. My deepest condolences that y’all have experienced this. Sending love.

  12. Anonymous

    Pam is an amazing woman to stay sober through the death of a child. God bless her, and all of you.

  13. ARU

    She has relapsed. Just didn’t want to say so

    1. meg

      even if she did – so what? addiction is an illness and recovering from it is the hardest thing anyone will ever do. none of us can cast blame on anyone who makes a mistake!

  14. Courtney

    This episode was the first intervention episode that ever made me cry. My mother is a victim of being molested at a young age for years and the pain in Pamela’s eyes and voice looked so much like the pain I saw in my mom’s eyes when she cried and told me what she went through at the hands of her now former brother in law. The way Pam said she felt she wasn’t good enough for anyone was reminiscent of when my mom told me she told my dad when they first started dating that she was “damaged goods”. My father told her that she wasn’t damaged in his eyes and that he loved her regardless of her past. Seeing Pam let all her pain out at that intervention must’ve been such a huge release for her. Her sober followup had me in so much awe because she looked so beautiful, so vibrant and happy. I really hope she’s doing well wherever she is and that she continues to live for herself, her children and family.

  15. RayMo

    I noticed that Pam had a huge grin on her face in all the pictures of her with her two kids. I cannot fathom how hard it was for her growing up….just awful, but thank god she had those beautiful kids. I wish her the best. It always breaks my heart when parents don’t believe their children (but it also makes you wonder what the parent has been through, especially in family assaults….shouldn’t be too quick to judge and whatnot). Pam, you’re a lovely person.

    1. Anonymous

      it’s disgusting that people are defending Pam’s horrible mother because of her past. It doesn’t matter. whether or not, she was abused, her self doesn’t make it any less of a fact that she didn’t believe her two children were abused, and in fact, thought they were lying because they didn’t want her to be happy. It’s sickening.

      1. Meghan M

        Just watched this for the first time since it came out. Pam’s mother was a monster—it doesn’t matter that she’s dead now, it doesn’t give anyone a license to make her a saint. She seemed baffled by the concept of her kids needing her to parent them. Good grief. Pure evil.