Season 25, Episode 5
Tim and Jessica
Age: 43
Location: Manchester, Connecticut
Addiction: Fentanyl mostly
What’s Memorable: This was an interesting one. There’s a lot I can say but I was most struck by how resolute Tim was about not wanting to be in a relationship with a drug addict. Not because he wanted to be able to quit and that would make it harder, but because he literally wanted to be with a woman who would take care of him in his addiction without expecting him to share his drugs. He was perfectly content to put her in the role of codependent enabling caregiver and to provide her with a completely miserable life, but he didn’t want to have to deal with HER addiction. But, just his luck, his girlfriend becomes an addict mostly to deal with the pain of being his codependent girlfriend. That’s…ironic? To be expected? Karma? Anyway, I feel like that says a lot about him (and the way his parents raised him).
Official Synopsis: Tim and Jessica, both 43, first met in the 6th grade but three years ago they reconnected on Facebook and embarked on a chaotic, drug-fueled romance that is destroying their lives. Tim’s $300 a day fentanyl, crack cocaine and alcohol addiction has caused him to lose his business, spend time in jail, and OD in front of his father. Jess’s newly acquired fentanyl habit is severing relationships with the people who previously meant the most to her: her ill father, her loving mother, and her three teenage-children all mourn how her addiction has become a main priority in her life. If Tim and Jessica don’t get help, there’s a very real possibility that one or both will die from their addiction.
Date Aired: June 17, 2024
Interventionist: Darren Hobbs and Zach Livingston
Finally a new episode that isn’t just an American debut of a Canadian episode! What really stood out for me was the fact that following treatment they both moved back home (same house and everything) and have remained sober. If this show has taught me anything it’s that usually that spells doom for those in recovery.
That was a huge red flag for me and I couldn’t help but wonder if they both had managed to remain sober. They both had just the standard 90 days in rehab before returning to each other and their home – right? No sober living or anything like that?
The other thing that sort of jumped out at me was during the pre-intervention, when Jessica’s stepmom was talking about who would take her kids and said the daughter was “a legal adult and working full time” so she should be able to take care of herself. I mean – the daughter did seem like she was way more competent than her mother (low bar) but I felt so badly for her. She has had such a hard life and so far has managed to not become addicted herself. I found myself really hoping she had some supportive family or friends or someone to help her while her mom was in rehab and beyond.
I feel like if they moved to a totally different area, they would def still be together.
I think that many sober living homes are single sex or if they aren’t, I don’t know that they typically allow couples to stay in the same home. I think both of them could have used a lot more time working on themselves individually rather than getting back together so soon, especially in a shared space and especially especially a shared space where they had a history of substance use.
It’s hard to believe they are sober. He’s had too many decades on drugs, and she was hooked on drugs and him. Living in the same place too? Nope. They shouldn’t be together at all.
Tim is a spoiled man-baby. Jessica is one of those women who feel the need to “take care of my man.” A lethal combination. I wish them the best.
Totally agreed and agree with Dizzy in the synopsis – it speaks a lot to how his parents raised him!
Tim wanted to have someone like his mother so she will take care of him and he can just take drugs all day without a care in the world. His comments about women basically belonging in the kitchen and taking care of their men were disgusting. He didn’t do anything for her except giving her drugs. She was using her for everything because he knew she will not say no. I’m not gonna lie I was not very happy to see that they are back together. I really hope for Jess that her sobriety won’t be sabotaged. But living in the same place with the same man? Isn’t that something that’s like the first rule of sobriety? To change familiar patterns, places, people?
It said a LOT though when Jessica walked into the intervention smiling. Is that a first in this show? I can’t remember anyone else being so excited. I think she just wanted help so desperately but didn’t have the energy to ask. I wish for an update someday and I hope she is doing good.
30 years of severe drug addiction aside, I found Tim to have basically zero redeeming qualities. He is a selfish child who expects women to take care of him so that he can do drugs all day. His standards for women are ridiculous, and when he got a girlfriend who wasn’t an addict like he wanted, their toxic codependency led her into addiction.
Jessica seemed like a genuinely kind person in the thrall of a genuine abuser. Tim’s addiction was so long term and his emotional development was so stunted, starting life over as a sober adult was always gonna take a lot of adjustment and require a different lifestyle. To go back to the same toxic relationship and living situation right away that early in sobriety, I would frankly be shocked if they stay clean.
I am in recovery myself and know a lot about addiction and relapse firsthand. most likely they will grow apart in recovery, realizing how different they are. tims addiction was so long term and chronic that he will likely need more care than she does. for him to return home without any aftercare plan is a recipe for relapse. I am not being cruel, I have experienced it myself and seen it happen to others time and time again. I do hope the best for them both. I thought they were both kind people who deserve the best.
Looks like Jessica and Tim are still together, and still sober, but unfortunately Jessica’s father passed away recently. I hope she is able to remain sober through it- it’s what her dad would have wanted.
https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100061007326142
https://www.facebook.com/timtrotti
You hit the nail on the head with your summary, Dizzy. I echo everyone else’s comments here- Tim only cared about having a pseudo mommy girlfriend and Jessica was obviously still broken and grieving the loss of her husband and was trying to fill the void. Super toxic all around, I was also disappointed to see they were still together. Terrible terrible codependency.
Tim made me want to scream, talking about he likes the “traditional” relationships, women cater and men provides meanwhile he wasn’t providing nothing but drugs he buys with other people’s money! LOL! Oh man. Jessica made me feel so heartbroken.. How relieved she was seeing it was an intervention and eager to go. That has got to be a first! I really did not like that they asked her to stick around and help with Tim’s intervention, this is part of her problem, she feels responsible to take care of him and this decision just added to that! It made no sense get them away from each other!! she said multiple times that she knows Tim and their relationship are not good for her so I do find it very disappointing that they stayed together. On her facebook she shared the show and wrote “there’s the shows version, Tim’s version and the truth” which makes it sound like Tim is still full of sh*t. Also and this is very interesting someone commented saying that they hope they are doing well and Jessica replied “no unfortunately the battle runs on” and she said wrote to someone else “trying to get out this situation” both these comments were two weeks ago so someone or both of them did not stay sober unfortunately.. she’s got such a big heart, she’s self aware, she has the want, get her therapy and out of that “relationship” and she will thrive!!
Sorry I meant to put a comma after “it made no sense,” it definitely does make sense to get them away from each other! 😓
How proud he sounded at the intervention to talk about how many drugs he can handle and isn’t dead, one of the reasons you’re still alive is because you’ve got an amazing woman and family keeping you fed, watered and taken care for pffttttt!!!