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Update January 19, 2018

Happy 2018! Just a couple of quick things…

  1. You may have noticed that there’s a delay in your browser when you try to access this site. Sorry about that. It’s because I’m under DDOS attack for some reason and so I have to route traffic through a service called Cloudflare in order to filter out the attack bots. I once tried to lower the filter a little bit to see if the attack was still happening, and it was. My hosting company immediately told me that if that level of traffic happens again they will kick me off of the server.  So I’m kind of a pickle.  I can’t take the filter down because I’ll get in trouble which means I can’t find out if the attack is still happening or not or figure out what to do about it. I don’t even know if the bots are coming for the actual domain name or the DNS, so I don’t know whether moving to another hosting company will work or not. Do any of you know enough about this stuff to give me some advice or help me work through it? Any suggestions welcome. My email is dizzy.buzzkill at gmail
  2. Today I am 49 days sober. 1 month 2 weeks 5 days without drinking. I honestly didn’t think I’d be able to do this again, but here I am and I feel good. Thought you’d want to know. 🙂

 

 

Categories: Updates

Discussion

24 Responses to “Update January 19, 2018”

  1. Thank you for all the updates, but mostly – Congratulations on your sobriety! Best of luck to you ❤️

    Posted by Janel | January 19, 2018, 10:26 am
    • I hope this reply will go through. Dizzy, first and foremost, you’re a miracle!!! I’d love to get a follow up on Sean from Massachusetts. Season 12. ep 19. Not the Sean that was a DJ from Ohio who passed away from season 11…. I can’t find anything on THE SEAN FROM MASSACHUSETTS and I searched for hours. THANK YOU! Praying for a lasting, great recovery! ODAT!! ♡

      Posted by Beth | January 29, 2018, 7:12 am
  2. Congrats on your sobriety and thanks for all your work on this website!

    Posted by Anna | January 19, 2018, 10:53 am
  3. So happy for your sobriety, dizzy! Keep it up. One day at a time.

    Wish I could help with your computer question, but I am such a dinosaur I didn’t understand most of it, lol! Someone will come along and help you!

    Posted by Patricia | January 19, 2018, 10:59 am
  4. Wikipedia has a very detailed layout of the denial of service attack and defense techniques against it, heres the link: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Denial-of-service_attack
    Congrats on your sobriety. I lost my oldest brother Mike 30 years ago to alcoholism, he was 28, killed on his motorcycle. I obsess over Intervention wanting to see what I could have done to save my brothers life, that desire will never leave me. Keep up the good work with staying sober for you and the loved ones around you. The devastation of losing my brother is as bad today as it was 30 years ago.

    Posted by melissa | January 19, 2018, 11:06 am
  5. Dizzy,

    A few things–

    I just read your update email — congrats on your 49 days.

    Thank you for all that you do here.

    You are not alone. <3

    Posted by Victoria | January 19, 2018, 12:39 pm
  6. Good for you, Dizzy. Stay strong. I don’t know what I’d do without this website!

    Posted by Jordy | January 19, 2018, 12:46 pm
  7. Congratulations on your sobriety! That’s such a wonderful feeling! Keep up the great work – 1 day at a time!

    Posted by Karen N | January 19, 2018, 4:09 pm
  8. Keep it up Dizzy. You are doing simply awesome and I’m so proud of you. Don’t give up and I’ll be here to give you all the support you need.

    Posted by Shirley | January 19, 2018, 5:54 pm
  9. I just came across this website and am so glad to have found it! Really enjoying it and the conversation! Do you know when a new season will air!?

    Posted by Hannah | January 19, 2018, 6:06 pm
  10. You rock Dizzy! Congratulations and keep it up!

    Posted by Elizabeth | January 19, 2018, 8:24 pm
  11. Sooooooooooooooo Happy for your Dizzy!!! I have hosting so if you want you can use it as well for nothing. I love this site and want it to be up. Also, try aws which is Amazon hosting and it’s very cheap. DDos happens when people are angry, pissed etc. Wishing you the best and hope I can get sober with alcohol as well.

    Posted by Richard | January 19, 2018, 9:13 pm
  12. Congratulations on your sobiety Dizzie❤️

    Am hoping a expert angel appears soon to help solve your security issues.

    Posted by Lhamo55 | January 20, 2018, 9:47 am
  13. So glad you’ve pulled off 49 days sober! Proud of you!

    Posted by Andy | January 20, 2018, 9:41 pm
  14. Way to go, Dizzy!!

    Posted by Samantha | January 21, 2018, 4:56 pm
  15. Dizzy, congrats on 49 days! I’m recently sober, too, and my life is so much better.

    Posted by Julie | January 22, 2018, 10:38 am
  16. Dizzy, Will here again and I am super thrilled for you that you’re back on track! With your level of commitment and understanding to the process of recovery I can’t imagine though this is the first attempt at sobriety you have – or I just threw you a huge compliment if it is! Any day is a huge accomplishment, by the way. I think it’s my own insecurity as I had a harrowing opiate addiction that started through 3 surgeries after I had taken accutane and had serious physical pain, but I can’t lie and say that there was no fun in the high, or the release that I probably didn’t even understand I needed but all I realized is they made me feel normal. If I was treated as a patient older, I’m sure it would have been taken more seriously and I never would have gone down the road of H – but at this point I know I can never be treated with them at all and fortunately for me alcohol or marijuana do not trigger relapse but I’m currently 4 months clean and have drank on a couple occasions to celebrate other people’s situations and it’s hard to pull back and just say no for the sake of something I don’t know that we all struggle with but maybe you have some insight into this. As an alcoholic, do you wholeheartedly believe in the 12 steps or do you believe there is a middle ground and there is literal definitions of polysubstance addicts vs. monosubstance addicts in the DSM4 at least (coming from my Psychology major) and I’m extremely self aware so I will say if any occurence of drugs casually used in the past (I quit smoking pot for 2 years until I couldn’t figure out how to alleviate some of my chronic pain without using addictive medication so it’s certainly a lesser of two evils)… and part of me feels like I just also am a freethinker and very logical… knowing that this book was written by an alcoholic in the 70’s, I believe we could come up with something more extensive, that works for more people. So that we don’t have so many deaths, because right now I have 4 months clean and haven’t looked back a bit! I had over a year and a half, however, clean from all opiates prior to this last relapse and even graduated drug court after being arrested for my friend’s drugs (after she OD’d in my car). Ironically the cops did nothing, but handcuff us while minutes later I was doing chest compressions and finally she stopped breathing and I brought her back with a few deep breaths in her mouth. She actually turned on me too, because she was pissed I called the cops. She’s really an idiot, we don’t hang out anymore and ironically she’s never thanked me and trashed her body since. But I got my charges erased because I’d never been in trouble and was in college, but I want to advocate my story so that everyone is aware of which states DO and DO NOT have overdose prevention laws. I still do not doubt I would do the same thing over again as I didn’t want to chance dropping her off at the hospital, my point is laws have to change. Also, the 12 steps have some very valid points and I mean I have restored faith in spirituality if not God itself but I felt alienated until I realized many people were using food, cigarettes, and tons of caffeine even at meetings to substitute their addictions… maybe we all do it? or Maybe we are all different and deserve that extra understanding before we are even assessed. I just think it’s a rigid system out there, and I am in school to get a degree to be an advocate to CHANGE these horrific laws that have given me PTSD and a jail experience which is a place I never belonged as I wasn’t someone who stole from friends (but admittedly had with tears from my family when confronted at first)… I just think we can all put our minds together who are intrigued by this field of study and really get to a deeper root to solving this NATIONWIDE issue now. I mean, I have a friend who is bipolar and he I know cannot use any substance regularly… he can’t drink or he will literally abuse it and drive and act like a crazy insecure lunatic and his drug of choice is heroin… so I mean, he just recently relapsed and is drinking again 🙁 I think sometimes the mental illness is what’s really driving the addiction and that stigma of bipolar and other diseases other than say, depression or anxiety which even some kids stigmatize or bully people for today – it needs serious change and spotlight. We also STILL have not put laws in place to stop oxycontin from being abuseable like in Canada where they have banned Oxycontin and created laws allowing only the OxyNeos (which is another bag of issues, because then is that why they are being hit SO damn hard with fentanyl?)… to act or not to act, but I know change must come in many areas before we get more people into a happy healthy life and recovery is an intensely personal definition. I respect you if you disagree with my sentiment at all but I would love to hear your opinion or anybody else interested who reads this 🙂 Once again Dizzy I want to say CONGRATS ON YOUR SOBRIETY! I CAN TELL YOU CAN DO THIS THING IF YOU WANT IT! YOU ARE KEENLY SELF AWARE AND HAVE CREATED THIS BEAUTIFUL NETWORK OF PEOPLE AND SUPPORT SYSTEMS AND UPDATES WE WOULD NEVER HAVE ACCESS TO. The main thing that keeps me happy and in my recovery (and broke, lmao) is being of serving to others and striving for a career that I can do that and make a living doing so. Much love and support, and I’m proud of you despite not even having met you for everything you’ve accomplished with this website, network, and most of all – sobriety!

    Posted by Will | January 22, 2018, 11:49 pm
  17. Way to go on being sober!!! Keep up the good work!

    Posted by Jennifer | January 23, 2018, 1:49 pm
  18. I’m a recovering addict been sober for 7 years.but everyday is a struggle though with it I’ve watched the show for several years now.its a great thing y’all are doing. I was just wondering how can I help with the intervention program with y’all I feel like I need to help more wish I could tell y’all my story I didn’t just do 1 drug I did several of them I just feel I could help so much more I am a sponsor for several people that’s on the write path to stay sober everybodys trigger is different and y’all know that but anyway keep up the great work all of y’all are doing would love to tell my story with y’all started drinking at 13 I did drugs over half of my life if I can do it anyone can thanks for listening to me

    Posted by w.j. Edwards jr | January 23, 2018, 4:28 pm
  19. congrats on being sober 🙂 that’s amazing!!

    Posted by sharla | January 23, 2018, 9:18 pm
  20. I wish I could be where you are Dizzy. Congrats to you.

    Perhaps I can join you one day.

    Posted by Michilines | January 24, 2018, 10:35 pm
    • I hope you can Michilines. I failed at quitting a hundred times before this, I know how hard it is to make the decision to stop and actually stick to it. I know how demoralizing it is to keep failing over and over, and I know all the ways that our brains rationalize not quitting and how persuasive that is. Yeah it’s cliche but ‘one day at a time’ is a damn powerful tool at this stage. When I start thinking about next week or month or year I get so anxious and feel like giving up, so I only focus on this day in front of me. I give myself permission to consider drinking again later but make a commitment to myself for just this day and then I try to do things each day that I wanted to do when I was drinking but didn’t because I was either too drunk or too hungover to deal. Anyway, that’s what’s been helpful for me. I wish you the best of luck and please know you’re not alone.

      Posted by Dizzy | January 25, 2018, 9:16 am
  21. Fantastic…kudos to you! (And the delay doesn’t bother me at all.) Keep up the hard work!

    Posted by Jen | January 25, 2018, 4:20 pm

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