Season 4, Episode 25
Ed and Bettina
Age: 53 and 49
What’s Memorable: Dear god, this one. I’ve seen it probably 12 times and the dysfunction/codependency gets me every time. Married almost 30 years, became alcoholics together only 5 years ago, and now they’ve lost almost everything. Their kids break my heart.
Official Synopsis: Ed, 53, and Bettina, 49, had a picture-perfect life, including three adoring kids, a dream home, sports cars, motorcycles, and a respected place in their church community. But six years ago, Ed made a bad career move and ended up unemployed. He and Bettina lost everything they had worked for. They began to drink, and quickly became alcoholics. Ed has been hospitalized for internal bleeding, and Bettina for withdrawals so excruciating she thought she was dying. Their children have begged them to stop drinking, but it only strengthens the bond between Ed and Bettina, leaving the children to wonder, “How do you intervene on a married couple?”
Original Air Date: September 2008
I worry for Bettina and the fact that she has not seemed to have opened up about the traumas she faced as a child. They don’t go away, trust me, I know. But they aren’t as scary when you talk about it with a therapist and they can give you a new perspective. I am curious as to how she’s doing today.
Their episode isn’t available on Amazon, at all.. which makes me wonder whether they relapsed and something tragic happened OR they’re clean and rejoined the Mormon community. What they are doing is super taboo in that culture, I wouldn’t be surprised at all if the church is part of the reason this episode isn’t available anymore.
yes, it is very taboo. I grew up as a Mormon in Provo UT, which is where the LDS culture is more like a CULTure. I recognized the provo liquor store in the episode but it looked like they are in southern Utah county (Springville, Spanish Fork probably) where the culture is almost as bad. Southern UT county is huge into meth, and SLC has lots of heroin. This place is literally no different than anywhere else when it comes to “evil” stuff like drugs, sex out of marriage, especially rape, child physical, mental and sexual abuse, etc. I know because I’ve seen all of it first hand and experienced more sexual abuse/rape here than I did when I lived in CA by far. Some men around here aren’t respectful of women and act like they are the “authority” and act like the opinions, thoughts and feelings of women don’t matter as much as their own. And if you’re not the perfect Mormon then you must be a slut and automatically want to have sexy with them. This place is just like Anywhere, USA even though people fake their whole lives and convince themselves it’s not the same. If anything I think it’s worse because you have to put on a perfect front much like Ed and Bettina did. They probably went to church on Sunday like nothing is wrong. But that’s where the problems start… No one can help you heal if there’s “nothing wrong!” I’ve heard that Utah county has the highest rate of plastic surgeries per capita (even above places like LA), highest teen suicide rate, a huge problem with teen homelessness, 50% of homeless teens are LGBT bc one of the LDS church leaders basically told people to abandon their LGBT kids, the highest prescription drugs prescribed per capita, and the list goes on. The strive for perfection is never ending! And the culture is so critical and demeaning in my experience that you will never measure up causing you to feel bad about yourself for no reason! Then you judge others to make yourself feel better thus continuing the vicious cycle. I used to be very judgemental growing up bc that was all I was exposed to.
I will note that lots of LDS people are awesome and helpful and kind and understanding. Some of the kindest people I’ve met are LDS but so are some of the meanest, including several of my rapists. It’s very polarized. But again it’s just like any segment of people – there are all kinds of people yet the difference is they try to act the same instead of embracing their differences.
Unfortunately I live here in Provo now, and it’s very hard to find friends because you’re either a junky or a perfect Mormon and there aren’t many in between. If you’re the typical Mormon you will fit in great and everyone will be nice to you! If you’re not well then I guess you’re shit outta luck! Salt Lake City and Park City are way different, literally like 40 miles away but a completely different vibe, SLC has the feel of a bigger city next to the mountains with 4 ski resorts. Park City is a beautiful mountain city with ski resorts right there in the city. And both of them are predominantly not LDS! I don’t even have a car right now to go there often and get out of this hell hole!
I used to live in Orange County CA and the San Francisco Bay Area CA and I wish I could go back to either place right now. I made friends easily and was respected by men actually! I couldn’t believe it when I moved there how much people actually liked me! I was (and still am) in shock at how popular I was with people there! It is so hard to fit in here in Provo and I was (and still am) the loner and no one liked me for me. I never did growing up bc I didn’t feel “good enough” for the “good Mormon kids” (75%+ of the school) but I was too naïve for the “bad kids” and so I felt lost and judged no matter what. Nothing has changed except on the inside I’ve been learning that I am worth something and I do matter, and am worthy of love and respect.
Sorry for the rant on this topic, but it really hits close to home (literally and figuratively) and I can’t even begin to describe what this place is truly like. I know my perspective is skewed bc I was raised in an abusive family, but I still know the hurt and pain the LDS culture can cause.
Hey I live in Salt Lake and am from Muchigan. 2 years sober.
Give me a shout????
Hey Colleen, j just saw this message so sorry for the delay immeeaponse. I have a car now so I can get around. Maybe Dizzy can send you my email address so we can correspond privately 🙂
Check YouTube under “Ramoin”. It’s there!
People need to use this message board more. It rocks. Yohoo anyone out there
Wish there was an update on these two
I am currently rewatching the series and check the site for updates on each after every episode. I thought for sure, out of everyone, there would be extensive updates on these two. So much so that this is my first comment out of almost six seasons. I hope to hear something soon.
I laughed every time Ed would exclaim, “Cheese and crackers!” LOL. I’d be interested in hearing an update on this couple.
This episode really pulls at my heart strings because you can tell so clearly how in love with each other they are. They had huge co-dependency issues in relation to their alcoholism but they had been together sober for so many years prior.
I don’t know how long after the intervention this was recorded, at least a year and a half later, but here’s the official follow-up with them on the website. They live in Georgia and were taking a break from seeing their kids to help give them space to heal:
Then I managed to find Bettina’s fb and… it looks like they’ve both been doing great! Looks like the daughters moved to Georgia too and the youngest had a baby several years ago. You can find Ed’s fb on her page too.
Just watched this episode today. Found them on FB, they look healthy and sober. Yes I know it is FB, but they have their kids and grandkids in the pic, I am hoping and wishing them the best.
They seem to be doing well. Looks like they still live in Georgia. I think there youngest daughter moved over there too. I wonder if they rejoined the church or not.
Just went through Bettina’s Facebook and apparently Ed has an aggressive form of cancer 🙁 will leave a link to their go fund me
Oh no! It says he lost his job the same day he was diagnosed! Those two have been through a lot together. I will keep them in my prayers.
Oh, so sad to hear. Ed looks like the blond version of Ned Flanders, he is so adorable. Bettina too. I wish them only the best.
I hope Ed is doing well with his treatments. The last Facebook picture I could see they both looked wonderful
This episode broke my heart. Two of the sweetest people who obviously are so in love and want to be the “perfect” (religious brainwashing) or at least appear to be so. Their kids were precious as well, very articulate and kind but direct. They love their parents very much, rightfully so.
I found it pretty impressive that Bettina was able to speak so coherently after drinking for 13 hours! Obviously it was a strange way of saying See I’m an alcoholic but I’m not THAT type of alcoholic.
Per earlier comments, that makes me so sad to hear that Ed was battling cancer.. I do not have a Facebook so I cannot access the pages but ugh.. Mormons usually creep me out but he was so sincere and genuine not preachy at all. Being let down by employers over and over…
I love them and their family and hope they know we’re all rooting for them.
I just spent some time on Bettina’s Facebook and she’s very active on there posting about her grandkids, holidays, interesting items she has found or is selling, photos of her and Ed having fun. I don’t think she could accomplish the things I saw on her page if she was still drinking. I hope and pray for the best for her and Ed. Seeing them white-knuckle was so intense, that feeling is one of the worst on earth!!
I’m happy to see Bettina now enjoys the little things in life and is fulfilling her potential as a grandma, mom and member of society.