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S15E8 Daniel M.

Season 15, Episode 12

Daniel M.
Age: 43
Location: Laguna Niguel, California
Addiction: Alcohol (vodka)

What’s Memorable: This one is painful. Taking care of someone who could literally die if they don’t get alcohol into their system is beyond exhausting and constantly terrifying. Making sure they have enough alcohol in order to stay alive another day while knowing that you’re helping them stay addicted, it’s just too much. And then also having to watch them take a bunch of pills that could easily result in an overdose and not being able to do anything about it? No one should ever have to deal with that kind of turmoil. I have nothing but empathy for Sandi and their family and friends. They did what they had to do to keep him alive, and calling Intervention may have been the thing that actually saved his life.  I really hope so, he has a lot to live for and his family deserves to be happy.

Official Synopsis: Daniel is a well-respected Paranormal expert. However, his sensitivity leaves him tormented by those entities needing to cross to the other side. Daniel is now consuming a gallon of vodka per day to quiet the voices. That, combined with easy access to pain meds and opiates Daniel takes for his lupus diagnosis, has left him spiraling out of control. His family fears that it is only a matter of time before he is lost inside a world he cannot escape.

Date Aired:  June 2016
Interventionist:
Candy

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  1. Sandi

    The interventionist was actually Candy.

  2. Simone B.

    am I the only one who thinks he seems like a deeply closeted gay man?

    1. Sara

      You are not the only one, I somewhat shamefully admit.

    2. Brian

      Don’t see how your comment is a bit relevant

      1. Chance and Destiny

        Because that can have a huge impact on sobriety and being his true self

    3. gili

      yes it’s exactly what I thought. I almost felt like he was over acting too.

  3. Tom

    I definitely find the alcoholic episodes the most interesting for personal reasons, and this story disturbed me the way an episode hasn’t in a long time. The way he was shaking and the handfuls of pills he was shoving in his mouth to go with a gallon of vodka, it’s amazing he was still alive. And I can’t believe they still held an intervention when he was completely incoherent from a massive overdose, just because the nurse took his vital signs. It seemed negligent and downright dangerous that they didn’t take him to the ER just to be safe. Okay and then the guy at one of the rehabs said “Physically he’s okay…mentally I’m not so sure” like, can you elaborate? I mean, my feelings on ~paranormal investigators~ aside, he didn’t seem particularly mentally ill (alcoholism aside, obviously). Idk idk, it was intense. Hope he’s doing okay.

    1. Sean

      I agree — he certainly did not seem “okay” by the end of the episode. He looked like a man being crushed by his inner demons, enduring until he could get access to his preferred medicine again. I’m sure that he was getting psychiatric counseling while in rehab, but I did not have a great feeling — his desire to move closer to his son seemed less like a concerned parent, and more like an alcoholic that was formulating a reason to get out of rehab ASAP.

      My heart goes out to him; I hope that he can get the help he needs.

      1. danielle pope

        He was very broken in so many way do do you know if hes sober today?!

    2. Sara

      I would have liked more of an explanation as well. I was also a touch troubled by how suddenly outwardly religious he seemed to Candy and the camera crew at the end. I don’t mean to say this in a way that mocks religion. It was that his words and attitude seemed like a caricature of a religious person. It seemed disingenuous. And hey, I could very well be wrong, and I hope I am. A lot of editing happens, so who knows.

      1. Tom

        Yeah, you’re right, although it could be just a result of being new to recovery and parroting the talk that he’s hearing about higher powers, prayer, etc. But yes, I get that they only have so much time for an episode and as a result a lot of things get cut, but that shouldn’t be at the expense of prevalent information, y’know? Like, Candy started a discussion about his potentially not even having lupus, and his mother confirmed that as a kid he used to enjoy pretending to be sick. Plus, when someone claims they’re being tormented by voices nobody else can hear, conventional wisdom doesn’t dictate that they’re actually just in touch with the supernatural. Like, they threw out all these breadcrumbs about a potential underlying mental illness, but didn’t elaborate on it at all. I guess we won’t know until there’s a follow up, or maybe someone who knows him comments.

      2. MC

        I agree, I felt he was acting disingenuous towards the end. I also agree with Sean’s commenting about Daniel’s potential reason to want to move closer to his son.

      3. Brian

        Well stated ! #editing

      4. Chance and Destiny

        He is a professional con artist. He reads people. That was the best way he thought he could “look sober.” It was like he was always an addict because he always told people whatever they wanted to her that would get him the best results. I doubt if anything but LONG term intense rehab would have ever worked with him.

  4. Kristy

    Morphine, Lortab, other opiates, cough syrup, a gallon of vodka a day, seizure meds- and that was just what was mentioned on the episode.

  5. Sandi

    Hi all. This is Sandi, Danny’s wife. First, I want to thank you all for being kind. I have seen on some boards the most horrendous things and although I know I shouldn’t read the comments, I did. They were hurtful. I’ll address some of the questions you guys have. Who Danny is is extremely layered. I’ve been married to the man for years and I still am finding out that I may not have even known him at all. They only touched on the mental aspect for a few reasons. Nothing definitive was found while in rehab because at the first rehab, he spent a great portion of the time detoxing. Then he sprung a leak and relapsed. He was then sent to Florida where they found some things but haven’t gotten to the root issue(s). They were mainly focused on the addiction, then decided to treat any mental issues later.
    What they didn’t show, and no fault to anyone, was that Danny is incredibly funny and caring. He lost all of that in the addiction. When we married we were best friends and we are all mourning the Danny we lost. I think many times it’s easy to see something like that and forget that the cognitive abilities are disrupted due to the massive amounts of drugs and alcohol he was putting into his system.
    It’s so hard, now, to show people how amazing he can be. We were pushed into a corner and had no choice but to contact the show for help. It was the LAST thing his mom, sister or I wanted to do. We did it out of love for an amazing soul that was/ is tormented. How we came across, I don’t know. But we went on the show for help and that’s what we got, so for that, I’m grateful. Thanks guys!

    1. Shannon

      Hi Sandi! Danny’s story moved me deeply, and I just want you to know that you, Danny, and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. I hope that he is able to receive all the help he needs, and that he recovers to live a full and rewarding life. I also wanted you to know that all of you came across as a loving family who is terrified of losing Danny. I wish only the best for you, your family, and Danny. I’m sorry you’ve seen cruel comments on various boards; people can be heartless and thoughtless, especially with the anonymity of the Internet. Thank you for taking the time to tell us more about Danny, and please know that there are people out there who are pulling for his recovery and for your family’s health and happiness.

      1. Sandi

        Thank you Shannon. I chose to respond here because you all were so nice in your comments. It’s crazy how people see 45 minutes of heavily edited video and suddenly feel that they are experts on your life and because we needed help in the form such as this, that we are fair game for insults and hateful comments. Because I had moved out, they were unable to show him hacking into my phone, the verbal attacks, the accusations he placed on me; typical projection. In the months leading up to this he had attempted suicide four times in one night, been hospitalized numerous times, was found hallucinating on the patio with a loaded gun in his waistband. I had contacted the police several times for help, not that he was physically abusive, he was hallucinating due to the meds and alcohol combo. I called casting so many times over Christmas begging them to come or he was going to die. They actually pulled his taping closer because of the shape he was in.

      2. Rhiannon Pew

        Sandi, i truly hope that things are better and that Daniel found his way back to his old self. As a fellow addict, I know it is a very hard thing to overcome, but if you want it bad enough it will happen. ❤💜 xo

      3. flinstone

        Hello, This was a thought provoking episode on several layers. I normally don’t comment on such. I have so many questions. Since Danny seized without alcohol, did he get alcohol while in rehab? Was Danny BiPolar? How is it possible to drink a bottle of Vodka a day without getting drunk or Liver damage.

        At any rate I am pulling for Danny and his family.

    2. Sara

      Sandi, thank you for commenting here. I think it’s awesome that Dizzy has created a safer place for people to share. Not an easy task on the Internet. There is a lot to say about how I feel the show focused more on the success of the paranormal renowned speaker and the “fall from grace ” as it were as opposed to the loving husband and father who was adopted if I remember correctly. To have the courage and let a camera crew tape one of the most devastating things in life is a profound act of love, and while I was left with many questions during and after the program, it was certainly no question that you genuinely cared for this man. All of my best to you and your family.

    3. Tom

      Hi Sandi, thank you for clarifying. And I’m sorry you had to see all sorts of hateful comments. I think a lot of people watch Intervention because they have their own struggles with substance abuse, and unfortunately some try to make themselves feel better by focusing on someone who seems even “worse,” as if by mocking that person they can somehow distance themselves from their own issues. Then again, some people are just awful for no reason.
      I’m glad the intervention helped and I hope Danny continues healing; you’re right, this disease tends to destroy all the best about a person.
      One thing I wanted to ask you, and I hope it’s not too weird, but what is your arm tattoo of? I happen to have Hebrew letters tattooed in the same exact spot on my arm, so when I caught a glimpse of yours I did a double take.
      All the best

      1. Gloria

        I also wanted to know about the Hebrew lettering tattoo. Thank you Sandi for responding. I feel that Candy is very wise and in the case of Danny’s recovery, she’s completely right about him having a shot at success. It’s just going to take some work on part of him and the family. He CAN do it, and so can you and family. There is a “good people” vibe about y’all. Keep to it!

    4. DC

      I mean this with all respect, but it must be asked–if Danny could address this demon the way he addresses the ones he handles professionally, how would the conversation go?

      If he could get it to speak for itself, what would it say? What would it say it wants? What does it do to earn Danny’s loyalty? Does it love him? Does it hate him? is it jealoius of his other loves and attachments? Does it seek to use Danny to hurt Sandi and Gabriel? What is its endgame in this–does it take pleasure in tormenting these people, and will it let the torment end somehow, or does it seek to prolong all this agony? Is Danny its enemy or is Danny a weapon it uses?

      I keep watching Danny fighting it, but I want to hear its own voice, and I want it to reveal what it seeks. Watching this I can feel it hiding behind his reason and his despair. The interventionist said it “is his medicine, his best friend, it doesn’t talk back to him”–can it be drawn out and made to show its face?

      Sandi, your courage is exemplary.

      1. hanna

        What you are saying is a valid question, but an inner demon and a demon that manifests itself in the physical world as a “supernatural being/apparition/etc.” is two different things. Meaning when you have a paranormal demon you use a religious/spiritual/shamanistic type ritual/exorcism to get rid of it. if you were to go about getting rid of the demon of addiction in a similar way, such as simply quitting, youre just stopping active using, theres more to addiction than the actions of drinking/using/gambling/etc. whereas a paranormal demon is a manifestation of energy

    5. Levi

      Hi Sandi. I just watched the first few minutes and I know what he is dealing with. He was right by saying it is demonic. Danny has a spiritual gift of being a seer. His religious background teaches this but wasn’t made relevant. The addiction is a way to silence what he experiences. You might not be a Christian, but the truth is that the spiritual world you both went after is because God gifted you both with prophetic gifts. God has a plan for both of you. I think your antennae is not connected to the right frequency, but Jesus still loves you both so much.

  6. Alice

    Hi Sandi, was there anything definitive found out about his Lupis?

  7. Shannon

    Sandi, you’re right. All we see is a heavily edited, 45 minute snapshot of what you have been living through for years. I’m so glad that you contacted the show, and especially that they moved up production; I will continue to hope and pray that you all get through this and that Danny can recover. I have never been in your shoes, and I can only imagine how frightening, frustrating, and devastatingly sad it is to see someone you love so much go through this – not to mention all that you and your family have gone through as a result. I hope you’ll keep us posted, if you can, on his progress. And if you read negative comments, try to think of it as only noise. Everyone loves to play “armchair quarterback,” but only you and your family know what’s truly going on. My husband and I will continue keeping you, Danny, and your family in our most positive thoughts and prayers.

  8. sandi

    Hi! I only have a second because I’m at work, but I wanted to answer the question about my tat. It’s Hebrew for YHWH. It’s in reference to my favorite verse, “I am that I am.” Ex. 3:14. Regarding the lupus, nothing definitive yet. Before I could get an answer, he moved to transitional living.

  9. Jean Klemme

    This episode really hit home for me, what you said to your husband is the exact things I’ve been feeling. I too have a 6 yr old son and his father relapsed after 5 yrs sobriety. This has been an awful nightmare I wish would end. Everything in this episode is my life it took me awhile to realize I’m not alone I too fear we will lose him to this disease he has severe health problems due to his addiction. Please know that you are not alone and remember one day at a time that’s all we got. It’s hard to make that decision to walk away when our son’s need there dad’s. I will continue to pray for you and your family. Stay strong

  10. clairebarecares

    I was discussing this with a friend and we were trying to determine, at the beginning, when we first see him pouring and then gulping the vodka, was that straight vodka he was pouring into a coffee mug and gulping, twice in a row?

    I noticed that when he was pouring into his red coffee mug, you can clearly see what looks like coffee in there.

    I’m just gobsmacked at his consumption.
    I read elsewhere on a subforum and the most of the members have just thrown their hands up to being alcoholics. The amounts they post they consume and the ill effects are nothing short of jarring.

    Still, his consumption during the intro deeply disturbed me, and we’ve seen some prolific hard liquor drinkers over the years on Intervention.

    What was the consensus as you watched it? Was he drinking straight vodka, nothing mixed in it, during the intro?

  11. artemisia

    Re: mental issues, Daniel’s story made me think of schizotypal PD: https://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/001525.htm

    Especially in relation to his early childhood experiences, the “drifter” thing, etc. This episode really killed me, godspeed to him & his family!

  12. Dr.LT

    Sandi,
    You and Danny’s family seem like incredibly warm, caring individuals who are really trying to fight the good fight with Danny. It is so amazing for you to a) even look at this site, and b) post about Danny’s treatment progress.

    I’m not a religious person, but I have you all in my thoughts. I especially hope that this situation improves in the future for your son so that he may be able to know his father.

    Best of wishes!

  13. Maryjane

    Hi…does anyone know if Daniel is ok? I know it’s only been a couple of months but this episode pulled at my heart so much. Also was there ever any talk of schizophrenia with his docs in rehab?

  14. Sandi

    Hi Mary Jane,
    Thank you for asking about Danny. He just came back to California and is sober and healthy! He is working and is planning on speaking at events regarding his sobriety. His humor is back and his heart is beating. He is getting back on his feet and is in a good place. Every day is being taken as a gift because he was incredibly close to losing everything.

    1. John

      Made me very happy to hear this after watching the episode. Wish yall the best

  15. Melissa Ritchey

    Sandi-
    Danny’s episode really touched my heart, it reminded me of my father before he passed (at 37 years old) I pray that you and your family are doing well and that Danny continues on his path of soberity. I cried my eyes out when I saw him in that state the day of his intervention. I’m am so happy to hear that he is sober and doing well. I wanted to know if they found out if he has Lupus or if he has a mental disorder? I pray that Danny can remain sober and that he has realized what he truly has. You can tell that the love you have for him is just amazing. God bless you & your family this upcoming holiday season.

  16. Caroline

    Just watching this episode now and noticed that it said Danny is 43 years old if you wanted to update the description. Thank you so much for all you do on this website…I am so grateful it exists!

  17. jk

    Dear Sandi,

    Thank you for replying to some of the questions on this forum. I have been through this situation with my best friend who is like a brother. I had a different experience because I was able to disconnect more than you were able to because of your child etc.

    I thought I would never be able to continue my relationship with my bestie because there were so many negative associations, thinking of him only caused me pain. He did eventually, after much turmoil, get sober.

    The amount of abuse he inflicted on his body made me think he could never be normal again. It’s been over 8 years with him sober. He slowly “thawed” out and became himself again. It’s unbelievable what we can recover from. My bestie is 100% himself again, in fact, even better. Stronger.

    I just wanted to offer hope from the other side. If he can’t be your husband anymore, that is understandable. At least your son can get to know the man you married. You are so articulate and caring, you have been an inspiration.

  18. Melanie

    Wishing Sandi and Daniel the very best.

  19. Christine

    This episode was difficult to watch. To witness someone on the verge of taking their own life (as a person who has been to that dark place in my mind), is heartbreaking. I hope for the best for Daniel and his family.

    I do want to also say, I am currently living with lupus. My diagnosis was almost 2 years ago, and in the beginning, my symptoms were similar to Daniel’s (the extreme fatigue, severe body pain, in addition to stomach/bowel problems, every day headaches, just to name a few). Fast forward to now, still haven’t found the right combination of meds and my pain level is never below about a 5-6, and I’m only 34 and have no quality of life compared to my life before lupus. Sandi, when you said that “he found the perfect disease to hide behind”, it kind of felt like a slap on the face. People don’t understand/realize how little control you have over your body when lupus takes over. It’s miserable. However, I do understand that this must have been extremely difficult to put your family out there for everyone to see and that your heart is obviously breaking for your husband. So maybe you didn’t mean to be insensitive, but lupus is real, and it can affect every part of your life. As I don’t know Daniel personally, I can’t say whether he uses lupus as an excuse or not, but I just want people to be aware that it’s possible he really did feel awful for days at a time. Being in the sun for too long causes me to be laid up on the couch sick/sleeping for about 3 days.

    Anyway, thank you to anyone who takes the time to read this.

    Be kind. You never know what silent battles someone may be fighting.

    1. Katrina

      Hi Christine,

      I agree completely. I’m 36 and I too was diagnosed with Lupus (10 years ago for me), and have been struggling to regain any quality of life since. I have other autoimmune conditions but ultimately Lupus rules my life. It’s so incredibly difficult to hear when someone makes a remark about Lupus not being “real” or that I’m faking or exaggerating, etc. I truly felt for Daniel in the sense that no can truly understand what it’s like to live with a disease like Lupus unless you have it. So, Christine, I just wanted you to know that there is atleast one person in the world who understands your pain and wishes ypu all the best. Hang in there, Lupie Sister! #WaitingForaCure

    2. Cindy

      Hi, as a fellow chronic disease sufferer, you must know that people use disorders like ours to get meds all the time. It’s not an unheard of thing unfortunately. Well, maybe not mine, as for mine you need to have tumours literally everywhere, but people fake lupus and fibromyalgia ALL the time just to get pain meds.
      It’s not hard to read up online what the symptoms are then to go yo the doctor and say “hey! I’m suffering this!” And ride the med train until genetic testing comes back saying you don’t have it. Even then, if it’s anything like mine, 10% of genetic tests that are positive actually come back negative.
      My disorder is Neurofibromitosis type 2 by the way. There’s very specific criteria to diagnose, as I’m sure there is for lupus too, but almost no doctors have ever heard of mine, and I’m sure many are not up to speed on lupus either, so it’s easy to pull the wool over the eyes of doctors. Which makes it even harder for those of us who actually have the damn diseases/disorders to get the help we actually need.

  20. Mal

    Just the way he throws back those huge glasses of (pretty much straight) vodka like it’s nothing. Damn

  21. Sad

    Hi Sandi. My husband is a severe alcoholic (age 38 and diagnosed with cirrhosis recently). He supposedly hasn’t any booze since 5/25/17. He swapped that addiction for “whip its” and marijuana. Any kind of inhalant actually, anyway, wanted to reach out and wish you and your husband well. You and your husband deserve some peace ✌

  22. Brooke

    woah, i can’t even drink a gallon of water a day!! i hope he and his family are doing well.

  23. Marina

    Kind of off topic but did anyone notice Tiffany’s legacy update during this episode? Something about her sounded so… off, like she was reading from a script, almost totally emotionless. I found it quite odd.

    1. Kail

      Hi this is an old comment but I think that all the follow ups seem scripted lol But in this case, since the crew already knew all this about Tiffany, the conversation was forced because it looked like she was waiting for Ken to ask her stuff but he didn’t.

      Ken already knew Tiffany is sober because she has been pretty big in the recovery community for years. her life is basically an open book online, news articles about her circulate often. So they both just kept going in this awkward overly-formal circle of “hii how are you! I’m good thanks!” lol

    2. Kelly

      I assume producers ask the people featured in follow-ups to include some kind of statement about being thankful for the show and that being on it helped them in life. I think some addicts write their statement down and read it verbatim and it doesn’t sound like a natural part of the conversation.

  24. Kelly Osborn

    I just watched this episode and it really hit me hard. Does anyone know how Danny is doing today? My heart goes out to him and his family. I really hope they are doing well.

  25. REALLY

    Yeah, the demons caused my addiction. I didn’t have any part in it!
    The demons destroyed my relationship with my wife. Not my fault!

    Pathetic.

    1. Chance and Destiny

      Thank you for your courage to be real. It is actually the most important part of being sober

  26. Gayle Osterberg

    Just watched this episode for the first time. Just wondering how Daniel is doing. Growing up with a mother who abused alcohol this episode really stuck out to me and it was heartbreaking. Just would love to know how he’s doing.

  27. Alex D

    I found Sandi, his now ex-wife, on Facebook. She lives in Texas and looks to have a counseling degree. Daniel hasn’t posted in a while, but it seems he was last living sober in California.

  28. InterFantion

    I hate to say this, but it looks like Daniel sadly went to jail in 2021. He was released in 2022.
    He and Sandi divorced in 2017.
    Sandi seems to be doing very well. She has a counseling degree and she is an award-winning artist of paranormal artworks.

  29. Erica

    I Can’t understand how a nurse practitioner can look at him and not send him to the Er! How did they even think he could comprehend.

    1. MJ Greene

      I know this reply is 8 months after yours and 7 years after the intervention, but I am just now binge watching the seasons I left off with years ago. I totally agree with you about him not going to the ER. My ex Father-In-Law almost died several times when his body didn’t have the alcohol it needed. Back then Google wasn’t “the Bible” and we weren’t educated about how dangerous detox is for an alcoholic. My MIL just thought it was enough to hide it and tell him not to drink anymore. They lived in the country and he was too frail and sick by that point he really couldn’t drive, even if she hadn’t hidden the keys! Right after my ex and I divorced in 2006, my ex-FIL succumbed to his alcoholism after coding during a forced rapid detox. If we only knew then what we know now… People think just because alcohol is legal, it’s safer than street drugs. That’s not always the case because it IS legal, more widely accepted, and very easy to get. Hell… I just moved to Missouri (from Oklahoma) and they deliver alcohol on DoorDash! Anyway…sorry for the book, but this episode was one of the toughest I’ve watched and I’ve watched almost all of them now (somehow missed season 15). To everyone who reads this…A lot of people struggle silently and I am one of them after a dozen unsuccessful surgeries to fix my broken body (Disabled Vet, Fell head first out of attic, almost killed in horrific car accident). I’m the most accident prone woman I know! I don’t abuse my medication but when I’m still in severe pain, the temptation to take “just one more” is real. I watch “Intervention” to keep me from taking that first wrong step because my family is filled with addicts of all kinds. Big hugs to all of you, regardless of where you are in this world or stage of life! Sincerely, MJ

      1. Ange

        Addiction sux I wish to God I knew 25yrs ago what I know now about addiction bc I never would hav taken that first pill!!