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S8E9 Ryan

Season 8 Episode 9


Age: 30’s
Location: Denver, Colorado
Addiction: Alcohol
What’s Memorable: Knows he’s an alcoholic, doesn’t care, doesn’t want to stop. It’s unnerving really.

Update: Ryan passed away on December 14, 2014 of cirrhosis of the liver.

Official synopsis:  A chef for 15 years, Ryan dreams of running a kitchen in a four-star restaurant. But alcoholism stands in his way. Ryan always felt like the black sheep of the family compared to his successful, police officer brother. His mother supplies him with alcohol so that he doesn’t go into withdrawal. But now the family feels that “it’s not if we lose him, but when.”

Original Air Date: August 2011
Interventionist: Candy

All comments.

  1. Renee

    I just wanted to leave a comment because it’s very sad there isn’t one. Rest in Paradise, Ryan. It’s very sad to see you have passed away.

  2. Stacey

    Watching “his” episode right now & just wish I could have reached out before. RIP Ryan & God bless your family, friends. Such a tragedy

    1. Dizzy

      It’s always so hard to watch the ones where you know that they died later. It’s like you still have hope they’re gonna be ok and have to constantly remind yourself that their story ends tragically.

      1. Michelle Midkiff

        I totally agree, it truly breaks my heart to see the families suffering as well.

  3. natalie

    Such a tragic ending for a young man. Rest in peace Ryan. I hope your pain and suffering have ended now.

  4. Melanie

    Ryan was the sweetest love of my life. Unfortunately he passed away on December 14, 2014 due to cirrhosis of the liver. He was sober for almost two years before relapsing again. He struggled so hard with this disease and in the end he lost this battle. I finally gave in to watching his episode again today just so I could hear his voice again and after the show, I stumbled upon this website. Since there were conflicting dates of when he passed, I thought I would correct that since I was with him as he took his last breath. I don’t think I will ever get over his death but I am truly grateful and blessed to have had him in my life for the last 5 years. Ryan, you were and still are my everything and I’m so heartbroken to wake up everyday without you. I miss you every second of every day!!

    1. Dizzy

      I’m so sorry Melanie. Thank you for updating us. I really can’t imagine how hard it must have been to watch the episode again, but I know that desire to hear someone’s voice again. My thoughts are with you.

      1. Melanie

        Thank you Dizzy!!! I’m working hard to overcome my emotions with the help of doctors and counselors. It’s nice to see people like you honor him and others that have these addictions and lose their battles!! I’m glad I was able to view this website and share with you how he passed. Now I’m just searching for ways to heal from this and hopefully find a way to help others that suffered the way he did. As much as we argued about his addiction … he had a heart of gold and I knew the person he was beyond the alcohol because I had the opportunity to start my life with him when he was sober and loving life. He truly hated that he couldn’t stop the drinking. It became completely out of his control and became the only way he felt he could “normal” … I deal with a lot of guilt issues because of that and feel like I was the enabler because I stuck with him for so long after he started down his bad path again. I just loved him and felt there was potential in him to get better. I was wrong! The emotional roller coaster that I deal with now is absolutely crazy to me! Part of me is angry thinking he chose vodka over me and the better part of me understands that this wasn’t a choice for him. Addiction is so horrible! I miss him every minute of every day and wish he was here with me … my house is a shrine of pictures of him everywhere. Anyway, thank you for the nice reply and thank you for honoring him in this website you have created! Much love … Mel

    2. crystal

      Melanie, I am so sorry for your loss, and I would like to thank you for reaching out on this website. Just because Ryan is gone, doesn’t mean there are not many, many people like myself and the other people who frequent this site, who were deeply touched and affected in a profoundly positive way by Ryan’s story. He shared his life and struggles for any and all to see, something that is most certainly not an easy thing to do. And by doing so, he lives on through the lives he helped to educate and change, and thereby, he lives forever. Also, he was a very lucky man to have such a wonderful person as yourself to be with him in his final moments. I hope you can take comfort in that.

      Rest in Eternal Peace, Ryan.


      1. Melanie

        Thank you Crystal … your kind words mean the world to me!!

    3. Christina Cowell

      Melanie – I am so sorry for your loss. I find that there is tremendous support on this website for addicts and their loved ones. Thank you for sharing your beautiful words about the love of your life.

  5. Ryan lambert

    I’m so touched by Ryans story. I’m in the same boat. Just waiting for it to sink. Ironic that we share the same name.

    1. Stacie

      Reply to Ryan Lambert, please don’t give up.

    2. Melanie

      Please don’t give up Ryan … My Ryan was such a wonderful man as I’m sure you are too!! He loved everybody and tried so hard to fight this addiction for those he did love. You still have a chance not to be my Ryan … so please for YOU and your loved ones … don’t give up!!! You are worth so much more and you have an entire lifetime to enjoy! If you ever want to reach out to me, please do … you can contact me directly at [email protected]. I’m happy to talk to you <3

    3. crystal

      Ryan, you are still here, so you have the ability to do something about your addiction.

      Don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to be a hypocrite, recovering IV heroin, cocaine, crack addict here. I f’ed so many times, but I am thankful everyday I am still alive to fight (and boy, it’s HARD to avoid my DOCs, and they are illegal, I couldn’t imagine the daily temptations with alcohol being so much a part of most adult experiences) another day.

      Even by speaking here, you did something good, you reached out. What you should do now, if you want my opinion (too ba if you don’t, because I’m giving you it anyway! Haha) is to reach out to ANYONE in real life.

      Hell, go to any emergency room. Tell them what’s going on. It is their job to navigate the daunting work it can take to get yourself going in a different direction. Even if you just find a therapist to talk to, and stay active in your addiction, you might have the mental turnaround one morning that lights the fire to get sober and most importantly, stay that way.

      But please don’t give up. If I can be mostly successful, after shooting heroin into any vein (I’ve shot up in my areola, TMI, but that’s where I was at…) I could get to work, after selling my body to finance my addiction… if I can fight, so can you my friend. Trust me. I know, it’s cliche, but it’s the truth. Hang in there. Good luck and much love to you, Ryan.

      You know deep inside you are worth the efforts, you aren’t stupid.

    4. Liz

      Please don’t give up Ryan. You are special and have something to share with us yet, and we, you, me, and the rest of the world, would miss that without you here. Reach out for help.

  6. Natalie

    Don’t give up Ryan. Life is tough sometimes but never stop believing that you can do it!

  7. Melanie P.

    “When a soul dies, the winds will blow. The greater the soul, the greater the winds.”

    Rest in peace, Ryan. Thank you for sharing your story with us.

  8. Sad

    My husband is 38 years of age and was just diagnosed with cirrhosis. We have been married 18 years almost and have 3 beautiful children. We are devastated.

  9. Christopher Pooler I

    I was in treatment with Ryan at A Better Tomorrow in Temecula Valley(Murrieta), California back in the summer of 2009. Horrible treatment center but that’s beside the point. Just found out and watching his episode now. RIP, brother!